maude

i have a hard time going to bed lately. i'm also too easily irritated by my family. my brother is being an attention-whore.

i'm tired of taking showers across the street.

i really really want to cut my hair. it's ugly. and a pain in the ass to deal with. i'll probably do it myself since i hate stylists and my mom always misinterprets what i want. i think i want a faux-hawk. or something. i look better with short hair.

i'm not eating as well as i should.

i have zero social life, besides work and my boyfriend. i like having money and my job is fun but i really just want to stay home and bake cookies. i need to move out again but my boyfriend won't budge until we have more money saved up. and hell if i'm going anywhere without him.

i turn 21 this June, if i still lived in the city i could wander down to the Old Port and go barhopping like mad. but my only 21+ friend there will probably be here for the summer. i don't like to drink anyway.

there's just nothing interesting or good going on right now. i have my Tamagotchi, but she falls asleep at 8. i gave her a plant today. she sat down and watched it grow and it turned into a smiling sunflower and then she was excited. i also got her a boombox. it plays really annoying bleepy music but she loves to dance to it. i wonder when she'll grow again. there is no food she doesn't like that i have found. i, on the other hand, only want coffee and breakfast food these days. cereal, bagels, muffins, fruit salad, pancakes...mmmm.

has anyone ever noticed that a girl's favorite SGs tend to resemble her, or at least what she wants to be? i think Nya looks a little like Shirley Manson and she has been my girlcrush/idol since i was 11 - i want to BE that woman. i think Zui is the most adorable girl and i wish i had her body. it's tough looking good when you're short. i have weird proportions. i can't pick out why i like Annalee, Venla and Chloe so much based on those guidelines. i just think they're some of the most beautiful girls i've ever seen. Venla always looks like she's stepped out of a fairytale - her fairytale set looked so natural. Annalee is just fascinating, both her looks and personality. and Chloe is just plain hot. i think the cheerleaders set is what did it for me. you can kind of see the same thing with guys, too. they tend to have a type, however subtle it may be.

i'm just putting off going to bed now. it's lonely there, even though there are about 15 dolls, etc. on it (nd many more arund the room). i really really need a friend to come play dolls with me. i'm serious. one of my friends is willing but she has a dog and i can't bring my dolls over. so if anyone in the area won't feel ridiculously silly having an outdoor tea party with me and my dolls this summer, hollaback.

i'm lonely.