mattgarvin

IT'S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS! --by Fireland

Princess Leia! You will tell me the location of your hidden rebel base! I bet its in your panties!

Please dont use that word.

Thats it! Bring in the probe droid.

Hang on a sec.

Whats a matter, princess? Scared of the feelings my probe droid gives you? Titillated by the prospect of being probed real good?

Are you trying to do the torture scene with that floating ball with the hypodermic needle?

Yeah, duh.

Oh my god. OK. Josh, thats the IT-O interrogation droid. Youre thinking of the reconnaissance probe droid that was sent down to Hoth. Those were produced by Arakyd Industries. IT-O was designed by the Imperial Security Bureau.

OK. Well then Im about to interrogate your Sarlacc pit!

So youre saying my vagina is a cavernous, toothy monster that slowly digests men for a thousand years.

I yeah. I mean, right? Thats hot.

How would you like it if I said your penis was not unlike a dianoga?

Oh yeah baby. Whats that?

The gross slimy horrible little creature that lives in one of the [first] Death Stars garbage compactors, feeding on trash like what was her name? Sapphire? Your girlfriend in college?

Savannah.

Unchain me from this fucking Jabba doll.