matteus

Nope..., didn't even go to class last night..., crappy. I did, however, e-mail the instructor and she said she wants to meet with me Friday to see if I can make a passing grade...

I havn't really been challenged at this school though..., it's really weird...

this seems to be my under appreciated blog...

I well, I am feeling very agoraphobic/aggressive/displaced. I am an uncle..., 24 fucking times.

I am single. I am gettin up there in age. I am empty...

That about covers my feelings tonight..., come back tomorrow after I've failed my "make yourself look good" class and don't graduate in March...

fucking composition courses.

I joined this site as a horny bastard. My gf at the time was experiencing untold levels of pain and couldn't have sex and told me to take things into my own hands...Well..., I guess I had to..., but I'm a month into breaking up with her and I don't feel the need anymore to visit this site for said self pleasuring. I'm flipping the...
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I don't care if anyone reads this.

I'm tired of wanting to know why, I think. I have five older sisters and to me, none of them give a flying fuck. My younger brother is so far up his wife's ass and what she and her family think about all kinds of bullshit.Fuck it.

I guess I feel as if I'm jaded by my siblings....
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the finisher to Bound, i guess for now...

Just need to move in any direction
not just apathetic within my self made walls
unsung, my cries filter through the night
the silence drives me into mindless abandon

An ethereal echo intrudes upon my exiled stillness
phantom power fills my empty shell
through another's control, I lead my shadow into light.

Well, doesn't shit seem to happen right when you need it not too? The "distance" for Cheli was a self reflection of not knowing what she wants. She would shut me out "not having anything to say."

I think I shouldn't whine and bitch about it, but dammit, I miss her like hell, even now..., most especially now.

I think I needed her to do...
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What do I do now?
My girlfriend has had problems in the past with abdominal pain. We were doing well. She was excited by my advances and I was excited by her advances. Now, her pain has come back with a vengance and she is no longer interested in sex. Not only is she not interested in sex, but when she's having pain, she shuts...
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I hate indecisiveness..., In others it pisses me off, but when I notice myself doing it I want to break things.

..., she's over it...,











i think...

The world is odd. I'm in a relationship with a beautiful woman. She is trying to quit smoking. She is very closed minded when she tries this. I'm concerned that she won't let me into her shell. She feels that she needs to deal with her issues without any help. I want to be there for her, but she doesn't want me in that way.

Bound

you never know what ties we have
the ones that pull and keep you down
feeling inside a desire to be
free from others scrutiny

we're tied to the order of others wishes
not just a bit and being so vicious
where did the freedom you promised me go
a life full of strife is all I can show

chained always now, beat me...
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I was a stupid dumb, fuck. I should not have let things spiral out of control. I'm not perfect and never do I want to be, but I do know what I shouldn't have done. In my head I see you hating me. In my head I see you hating who I am.

I see you hating me for what I did.

I can't take...
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