It's really bad at the moment. Everything's gone grey again. I'm really trying to pull myself out of it but it's so fucking hard. Last night I was out at a club and was sat in the corner with some friends for about 3 hours - but I don't think I said a single word. I definately couldn't even keep my attention on what they were talking about, just stared at the floor. Eventually it was all I could do to stand up and leave. Two people I don't even know insulted me on the way out. This is all just really shit, without even a job now to keep me going and occupied. To be honest, there isn't even anyone here I can go to. I sat this morning and flicked through my phone just looking for someone to call. I couldn't find anyone who I'd feel comfortable talking to about all this. I couldn't find anyone who I thought I could just ring and ask to come round because I need some human contact, just someone to hold me.
It never used to be like this. At least before there were people I could turn to. Now it really seems like I've lost everything. I know this is mostly chemical and just me making stupid problems up to occupy my time because I have nothing else to do. For fuck's sake, why am I writing about this on a pornsite journal? I really need to do something with myself. This needs to change. At least 2004 can only get better from here on in.
It never used to be like this. At least before there were people I could turn to. Now it really seems like I've lost everything. I know this is mostly chemical and just me making stupid problems up to occupy my time because I have nothing else to do. For fuck's sake, why am I writing about this on a pornsite journal? I really need to do something with myself. This needs to change. At least 2004 can only get better from here on in.
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schoolgirl:
lamia1:
have you seen a doctor? you sound depressed, and not just the blues. if you're not taking medication now you might consider getting on something at least temporarily. don't let yourself get too down. get help.