matt76

retracted the dating profile. not really fit to be with another human being right now, and besides, i look like ass in my pic. drink too much, when i'm not doing that i'm only working or sleeping. need to get out more, there's a show saturday night. maybe i'll go if i can get past the feeling of bieng an old man among children. journaling...
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followed up on the apartment thing and it fell through, don't know what i'm going to do. ready for something to go right for a change.

things are mostly the same... have a lead on an apartment in town, perfect location (right over the gallery, a block from market/dipco), and better than perfect rent. hope it works out, gotta get out of this place. seth was down for the weekend hung out watched movies, went to a.y.p. back to work tomorrow.

a month and a half back on meds and not realy feeling any better. now i'm sitting here listening to my sister go on a ten minute tyrade about her baby's father, and i'm really not up for it. feel like my head's going to explode. this shit with mel is making me sick. felt like i was going to pass out at work today....
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bored, spent the whole day on the couch. oh well...

let's see..
weekend starts tomorrow night. the usual, marion court w/ erick and d. after work. saturday and sunday are up in the air. monday is going to be a madhouse at work, started sauce prep today, but trying not to think about it too much yet. threw together another nice menu this year, so much work for one night celebrating a half-ass holiday thrust...
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i drink too much.

plans for tonight seem to have fallen through. have to scasre up something to do. tired as hell, though. didn't sleep last night got on one of my stressed out cleaning fits, and cleaned the apartment all night. if i had half a brain i'd just og to sleep. oh well...

plans for tonight seem to have fallen through. have to scasre up something to do. tired as hell, though. didn't sleep last night got on one of my stressed out cleaning fits, and cleaned the apartment all night. if i had half a brain i'd just og to sleep. oh well...

i just got a new tattoo oo oo oo

got home tonight, and the whole apartment smells like burnt coffee. apparently somebody forgot to turn off the coffee pot this morning. maybe living alone wasn't so bad... anyway, erick's birthday party is friday night, should be fun. he's going to invite his cousin, she's cool despite her uncanny resemblance to ashley simpson. generally feeling a bit better, hate looking back at some of the...
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i'm tired. i feel used up and alone, all the time. no matter how much i try to do right i keep fucking things up worse. i have practically no friends, and i'm such an insufferable prick that i annoy myself. all i do is sit around the apartment and read. i hope nobody reads this shit. i just need to write. i've been back...
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