Enough of this shit.. I'm laying it all out.
I want to be able to trust girls. I honestly do. I am, by nature, a very trusting person. My friends would say that I am often too trusting. This has led, on quite a few occasions, to disappointment. Here's a typical situation for me: Step one, I meet a girl through the wonders of the internet. Step two, I usually ask for their phone number in our first conversation. **DISCLAIMER** This is NOT for the reasons that one would typically think. This is not a "pick-up." This is ONLY because it is extremely difficult for me to type, due to the fact that I have arthritis in my hands. (end disclaimer) Step 3, If, and only if the girl feels comfortable with this and gives me her number, I call her, and we have a delightful conversation. If I feel like I would like to get to know this person better, I will ask if she wants to go on a date. This is, quite literally, exactly why would ask a girl on a date. I sincerely enjoy learning more about interesting people.
Lets be honest. It almost always starts with looks. For everyone. Thats why when you browse on MySpace, it gives you pictures. Ask yourself this, how would your friends list look if it listed interests there first? Or, when was the last time you were out at a bar/party and saw a guy/girl and the first thing you said to yourself was wow, they look like they have a great personality! Im going to go talk to them. For me, the key is that after the initial contact, if my interest is not sparked by their personality, I will not pursue this person. I dont care if its the hottest girl in the world. This is the truth. I am very honest and open. Understandably, this intimidates a lot of people. In fact, its to the point where a lot of people think its a game, or that Im joking when I say certain things. Its actually simpler than it seems. I am just flat-out honest, and I simplify things down to the core and lay it out. I have found that a lot of people dont like to hear this kind of thing if its negative, even when they know deep down that it is true. And when its positive, people assume that Im just saying what they want to hear. When I make plans with someone, I try to let them know what I expect, and what to expect from me, so that there are no surprises. My first priority is for the girl to feel comfortable.
I dont drive. In order for me to be able to have some sort of social life, I must plan things in advance. I need to arrange rides, whether cars, trains, busses, or whatever. Also, it takes me an hour and a half just to get ready to go out. This is why I have to make specific plans. The problem lies in the fact that what has been nearly half the time lately, girls stand me up. And I dont mean they cancel the plans. I wouldnt mind at all if they actually called in advance to cancel the plans. I wouldnt even care if they used the lamest excuses ever. This would at least let me know that they werent planning on coming and give me time to make new plans. I even tell them word for word that if they want to cancel, I wont be upset. I dont care if you just straight up dont want to go out. But this isnt how some girls like to do things. Its almost like clockwork. I will make plans, and the girl will seem to be very excited about them. This will continue up until about 24 to 48 hours before the date, at which point the girl will cut off all contact with me. She wont respond to emails, or phone calls, etc. But, being the trusting person that I am, I assume they are going to show up as arranged. But I am only fooling myself. And, what usually happens, as I sit at home on a saturday night, is that all of my other friends are already out, the same friends that I declined plans with for the girl that just stood me up. Even the girls I tell this to will stand me up. The very ones that want to break the curse or be the exception to how past girls have been will do nothing but become another statistic.
One thing that is true is that I ask a lot of girls out. You probably know three or four of them personally, hahaha. But Im single, and would love to be in a relationship, but unfortunately there isnt really another way to find someone that I would want to be with. And, honestly, most of them are from myspace. I do this because it is more difficult for me to go out and meet people otherwise, living in the place I do. Hell, I have to ask four girls out at a time, because three will stand me up! hahahahahaha.. But seriously, if a girl does stand me up, unless they call later and explain, I wont try to make plans with them again, and I will then ask another girl out. This makes for a long list of girls Ive asked out, not even including the ones that bail as soon as I tell them Im in a wheelchair.
My initial reason for creating a myspace account was for a psychology project for school. I wanted to see how people would react, talk to me, and generally treat me if they met me without instantly knowing that I am in a wheelchair. I found that many girls were very forward and showed great interest in me, much more so than from face to face situations, to which I was very unaccustomed. I would call them, or they would call me, and we would make plans. Before the actual date, though, I would let them know that I was in a wheelchair. About half of the girls would let me know in some way that they were not comfortable with this. Some of the others would at least pretend to be OK with it, even if for no other reason than they wanted to convince themselves and me that they were open minded. In actuality, only about a quarter of the girls were legitimately cool with the fact.
Wow, if you got through all that, I give you props, but to wrap up, I just want to say that I really do enjoy dating, despite all that has happened. I am a very positive person, and I like to use this positivity to help others feel good. If I appreciate something about someone, I will make it very clear, but only when its the truth. When I say things, I always mean them. I have a great passion for life and enjoy every second of it. This intensity is something that I love sharing with others. I want others to experience this joy, and really like seeing the way that others perceive the world as well. This is what I hope to get from dating.
I want to be able to trust girls. I honestly do. I am, by nature, a very trusting person. My friends would say that I am often too trusting. This has led, on quite a few occasions, to disappointment. Here's a typical situation for me: Step one, I meet a girl through the wonders of the internet. Step two, I usually ask for their phone number in our first conversation. **DISCLAIMER** This is NOT for the reasons that one would typically think. This is not a "pick-up." This is ONLY because it is extremely difficult for me to type, due to the fact that I have arthritis in my hands. (end disclaimer) Step 3, If, and only if the girl feels comfortable with this and gives me her number, I call her, and we have a delightful conversation. If I feel like I would like to get to know this person better, I will ask if she wants to go on a date. This is, quite literally, exactly why would ask a girl on a date. I sincerely enjoy learning more about interesting people.
Lets be honest. It almost always starts with looks. For everyone. Thats why when you browse on MySpace, it gives you pictures. Ask yourself this, how would your friends list look if it listed interests there first? Or, when was the last time you were out at a bar/party and saw a guy/girl and the first thing you said to yourself was wow, they look like they have a great personality! Im going to go talk to them. For me, the key is that after the initial contact, if my interest is not sparked by their personality, I will not pursue this person. I dont care if its the hottest girl in the world. This is the truth. I am very honest and open. Understandably, this intimidates a lot of people. In fact, its to the point where a lot of people think its a game, or that Im joking when I say certain things. Its actually simpler than it seems. I am just flat-out honest, and I simplify things down to the core and lay it out. I have found that a lot of people dont like to hear this kind of thing if its negative, even when they know deep down that it is true. And when its positive, people assume that Im just saying what they want to hear. When I make plans with someone, I try to let them know what I expect, and what to expect from me, so that there are no surprises. My first priority is for the girl to feel comfortable.
I dont drive. In order for me to be able to have some sort of social life, I must plan things in advance. I need to arrange rides, whether cars, trains, busses, or whatever. Also, it takes me an hour and a half just to get ready to go out. This is why I have to make specific plans. The problem lies in the fact that what has been nearly half the time lately, girls stand me up. And I dont mean they cancel the plans. I wouldnt mind at all if they actually called in advance to cancel the plans. I wouldnt even care if they used the lamest excuses ever. This would at least let me know that they werent planning on coming and give me time to make new plans. I even tell them word for word that if they want to cancel, I wont be upset. I dont care if you just straight up dont want to go out. But this isnt how some girls like to do things. Its almost like clockwork. I will make plans, and the girl will seem to be very excited about them. This will continue up until about 24 to 48 hours before the date, at which point the girl will cut off all contact with me. She wont respond to emails, or phone calls, etc. But, being the trusting person that I am, I assume they are going to show up as arranged. But I am only fooling myself. And, what usually happens, as I sit at home on a saturday night, is that all of my other friends are already out, the same friends that I declined plans with for the girl that just stood me up. Even the girls I tell this to will stand me up. The very ones that want to break the curse or be the exception to how past girls have been will do nothing but become another statistic.
One thing that is true is that I ask a lot of girls out. You probably know three or four of them personally, hahaha. But Im single, and would love to be in a relationship, but unfortunately there isnt really another way to find someone that I would want to be with. And, honestly, most of them are from myspace. I do this because it is more difficult for me to go out and meet people otherwise, living in the place I do. Hell, I have to ask four girls out at a time, because three will stand me up! hahahahahaha.. But seriously, if a girl does stand me up, unless they call later and explain, I wont try to make plans with them again, and I will then ask another girl out. This makes for a long list of girls Ive asked out, not even including the ones that bail as soon as I tell them Im in a wheelchair.
My initial reason for creating a myspace account was for a psychology project for school. I wanted to see how people would react, talk to me, and generally treat me if they met me without instantly knowing that I am in a wheelchair. I found that many girls were very forward and showed great interest in me, much more so than from face to face situations, to which I was very unaccustomed. I would call them, or they would call me, and we would make plans. Before the actual date, though, I would let them know that I was in a wheelchair. About half of the girls would let me know in some way that they were not comfortable with this. Some of the others would at least pretend to be OK with it, even if for no other reason than they wanted to convince themselves and me that they were open minded. In actuality, only about a quarter of the girls were legitimately cool with the fact.
Wow, if you got through all that, I give you props, but to wrap up, I just want to say that I really do enjoy dating, despite all that has happened. I am a very positive person, and I like to use this positivity to help others feel good. If I appreciate something about someone, I will make it very clear, but only when its the truth. When I say things, I always mean them. I have a great passion for life and enjoy every second of it. This intensity is something that I love sharing with others. I want others to experience this joy, and really like seeing the way that others perceive the world as well. This is what I hope to get from dating.
But what do I know.
Love Amanda