"Giving me a new idea is like handing a cretin a gun, but I do thank you anyhow, bang bang."
This weekend was funny. Even more funny than this entry is long. It was pretty much two and a half days of alcohol-fueled nonsense.
And were even pretty nonsensical without the alcohol.
The premise for this story is that:
My best friends who are now scattered throughout PA, NJ, and NYC, plus a couple random characters and myself met at a cabin in upstate NY next to a frozen lake. Hilarity ensues.
Around 6:30 on Friday, my roommate met up at my office and we set out and up the beautiful NJ Turnpike. The only thing to note so far, is that I made him really mad because the top of the Empire State Building was lit up red, white and green, and I insisted that he was seeing things because why would it be red white and green?
Not a big thing, I know, but you have to understand that when he dies, the C.O.D. will probably be complications from anger related spasms, or something
Anyway, we eventually got there, and the other nine people had a head start, especially Tiffany. Tiffany is my friend Ryans girlfriend and also my wife. Im not sure exactly when we got married, but I think it might have had to do with the fact that we used to be roommates and our landlord was an elderly card-carrying member of the Christian Coalition and we didnt want to be accused of living in sin. So, after she greeted me by ramming into my shoulder like a rhinoceros, making a horrible gagging sound and yelling, this is what it sounds like when your wife throws up on you I had a sneaking suspicion that I needed to play catch up. I did. It was fun, and for some reason, Friday night carried with it a penchant for costumes. There was a point where, I was rocking a Flava Flav clock, Ryan was wearing a lampshade on his head and carrying around Yorichs skull, Tiffany was wearing a cape and a necktie, and I think Zach had bunny ears on. Fun.
Saturday started off with the speed of a paraplegic turtle. It was not helped out by the fact that some sort of couples dinner took place, leaving myself and the other social lepers to stay home, drink moonshine, and watch the kids and their AOLisms run amuck on Fuse. (see previous entry)
The others returned eventually and prepared to roll deep. I love all my friends, but the award winning posse of the night was definitely Zach, Brooke, and Myself.
We spent a good amount of time as professional dancers because nobody knows about the booty shakin we do We had headbands, and there is video footage of the dance party, and our after party interview where we cleared up some common misconceptions about professional dancers, and their lives. It is my understanding that this interview is going to be the intro to the Giving Chase DVD, which will be in stores by summer 2005.
Nobody else was down with our dance party, so we decided to build a fort. We tried to in the living room, but assholes who were jealous of our endeavors would tear it down as soon as we finished. This happened twice before we incorporated a large table into the structure. Not to be outsmarted, the unrelenting villains moved on to enforcing unconstitutional laws that were prejudice against fort dwelling citizens. Laws like there are no socks in forts, which wouldnt have been so bad if they hadnt been so violent about removing the socks. There was a brief uprising, and one of the sock stealing protagonists was forced to eat the sweep-side of a broom. But not being quite as tenacious as the Haitians, we soon decided to further quarantine ourselves. We realized that the only logical explanation for this rejection is because we all must have been suffering from a terrible disease. The disease was soon known as Clamato. Clamato is the new Leprosy, and the symptoms range from crawling, to bad British accents, to reaching for the unobtainable. The only cure was a for-MU-la made of three virgins, an earplug, and a map of South Carolina. We didnt have the proper proportions though, so the formula only turned out to be perfume. Needless to say, the cries of the diseased kept the normies awake well into the morning hours.
There were so many other great moments, and this kind of weekend with my friends, is exactly what I needed. Its going to happen again soon. If YOU want to go, you can sign up below. We watched about 45 minutes of video footage on Sunday before we left. I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Word.
I posted a few pictures in case you need a visual aid.
This weekend was funny. Even more funny than this entry is long. It was pretty much two and a half days of alcohol-fueled nonsense.
And were even pretty nonsensical without the alcohol.
The premise for this story is that:
My best friends who are now scattered throughout PA, NJ, and NYC, plus a couple random characters and myself met at a cabin in upstate NY next to a frozen lake. Hilarity ensues.
Around 6:30 on Friday, my roommate met up at my office and we set out and up the beautiful NJ Turnpike. The only thing to note so far, is that I made him really mad because the top of the Empire State Building was lit up red, white and green, and I insisted that he was seeing things because why would it be red white and green?
Not a big thing, I know, but you have to understand that when he dies, the C.O.D. will probably be complications from anger related spasms, or something
Anyway, we eventually got there, and the other nine people had a head start, especially Tiffany. Tiffany is my friend Ryans girlfriend and also my wife. Im not sure exactly when we got married, but I think it might have had to do with the fact that we used to be roommates and our landlord was an elderly card-carrying member of the Christian Coalition and we didnt want to be accused of living in sin. So, after she greeted me by ramming into my shoulder like a rhinoceros, making a horrible gagging sound and yelling, this is what it sounds like when your wife throws up on you I had a sneaking suspicion that I needed to play catch up. I did. It was fun, and for some reason, Friday night carried with it a penchant for costumes. There was a point where, I was rocking a Flava Flav clock, Ryan was wearing a lampshade on his head and carrying around Yorichs skull, Tiffany was wearing a cape and a necktie, and I think Zach had bunny ears on. Fun.
Saturday started off with the speed of a paraplegic turtle. It was not helped out by the fact that some sort of couples dinner took place, leaving myself and the other social lepers to stay home, drink moonshine, and watch the kids and their AOLisms run amuck on Fuse. (see previous entry)
The others returned eventually and prepared to roll deep. I love all my friends, but the award winning posse of the night was definitely Zach, Brooke, and Myself.
We spent a good amount of time as professional dancers because nobody knows about the booty shakin we do We had headbands, and there is video footage of the dance party, and our after party interview where we cleared up some common misconceptions about professional dancers, and their lives. It is my understanding that this interview is going to be the intro to the Giving Chase DVD, which will be in stores by summer 2005.
Nobody else was down with our dance party, so we decided to build a fort. We tried to in the living room, but assholes who were jealous of our endeavors would tear it down as soon as we finished. This happened twice before we incorporated a large table into the structure. Not to be outsmarted, the unrelenting villains moved on to enforcing unconstitutional laws that were prejudice against fort dwelling citizens. Laws like there are no socks in forts, which wouldnt have been so bad if they hadnt been so violent about removing the socks. There was a brief uprising, and one of the sock stealing protagonists was forced to eat the sweep-side of a broom. But not being quite as tenacious as the Haitians, we soon decided to further quarantine ourselves. We realized that the only logical explanation for this rejection is because we all must have been suffering from a terrible disease. The disease was soon known as Clamato. Clamato is the new Leprosy, and the symptoms range from crawling, to bad British accents, to reaching for the unobtainable. The only cure was a for-MU-la made of three virgins, an earplug, and a map of South Carolina. We didnt have the proper proportions though, so the formula only turned out to be perfume. Needless to say, the cries of the diseased kept the normies awake well into the morning hours.
There were so many other great moments, and this kind of weekend with my friends, is exactly what I needed. Its going to happen again soon. If YOU want to go, you can sign up below. We watched about 45 minutes of video footage on Sunday before we left. I was laughing so hard I had tears in my eyes. Word.
I posted a few pictures in case you need a visual aid.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
eh.... you have great taste in MUSIC! Its the movies I still debate! lol....
Jess kiddin!
Cheers!