maryjay

<3 you MJ. you're a wonderful, strong woman and you don't need any BS in your life bringing you down.

ive realized recently that not everyone out in this world is out to use and abuse me for some reason. not everyone out there is surrounded by a cloud of drama, misery, and pain. i honestly didn't think people like that existed anymore ... happy, fun people?! i've never seen it before, so i didn't think it could exist. along with this realization came the one that i don't deserve a life filled with misery and despair and abuse. i suppose i'm a work i progress -- trying to undo the emotional damage that was ex inflicted upon me, over all the years i was with him.

my point is -- nobody deserves to be unhappy or miserable. and, another realization i've come to over time that i've spent pondering the mistakes i made in my relationship with my ex, it shouldn't be so hard to be with someone that you love. my ex was like a broken record - in and out of jail -- "we need to work on our relationship, we need to try, we can MAKE it work, we've been through so much i can't just walk away without fighting for what i love", etc. And all of a sudden I realized that... it shouldn't BE THIS HARD. I don't HAVE to work at anything, or FIGHT for anything, and yeah we have been through SO MUCH already why would I want to go through more hell?!

You deserve to be happy, MJ... we both do! Do what you have to do, one way or another. But alone or not, never settle with unhappiness. You deserve more

I couldn't have said it better than Caity. Nothin but love for ya MJ, I'm always here for ya.