I haven't posted in a while and this is my blog so you will listen!!! I'm going to show that nice guys finish last and i have the worst luck with women.
Lets start at the beginning.
High School:
Lost my virginity in my freshman year to the class slut that was one year ahead of me. not as fun as i thought.
Next, In my sophmore year started going out with a girl thats a year behind me which happens to be the class slut. break up go out with some one less and back too her for the next three years.
The Marine Corps:
Get back together with girl from above everything is going great. I fall in love and propose to her. Her in Cali and me in North Carolina is tough be we seem to be dealing. 6mos before i get out i found out that she's been cheating on me. that was a tough time, very tough. after i started getting a handle of things i met another woman. She was great, pretty, great personality. I thought she would help me get over the betrayal of the past. It was great, till i found out that she was married to another marine. Anyone know that feeling of finding someone that you connect so well with but alas there's no way you can do anything.
Post-Marine Corps:
Getting out of the marines i decided that a girlfriend wasn't something I wanted. I would go to the bank every week to deposit my check. Bank teller, Sarah, she was hot, pretty and had ambition. one day she write her number on the back of balance sheet. I call her later and we come to agreement that we're going to be friends with benifits. Everything is going great. have a hot woman that is willing to have sex with me with no commitment. At the same time there was a security guard at my work that was hot. I picked her up and the same agreement. Friends with benifits. well, Sarah wants more than just benifits. I tell her that we had an agreement so i tell her that was all i can give. At the same time i started getting feelings with the guard. well i lost the good one (sarah) and the guard (anna) didn't want a relationship. So i screwed up on that one. I'll admit that, my bone head move.
after that i got a phillapina girlfriend. She was good she was great took care of me really well. well guess what i screwed that one up too. I met a girl online that i really liked. So, i broke up with the philapina to be with the hispanic. Three years later, we both play Matrix online. She invites some dude from the east coast to come visit Cali. No big deal right? So she tells me about it and i say cool. I'll take some days off and we can show him around. her responce? "I'm taking him down to San Diego and i dont want you to go" well by this time i've become less of an asshole and i was now a nice guy. So this kinda pissed me off, but you know what i wanted to trust her so i let her go. It was a three day weekend so she had to go to work on Tuesday. Tuesday night i get a phone call from her mom that is frantic cause she hasn't called all weekend. Turns out that she told her mom that i was going to be with her all weekend. And me being too nice covers for her. So now i'm trying to get a hold of her for a few hours. Finally i get a text from her, "I dont want to talk right now, i'm on my way to Vegas." So that really pissed me off and i broke up with her. I asked her, "did you expect me not to break up with you for what you did?" She said, "I knew you were going to be mad and break up with me, but i thought you were going to take me back." well that got me even more pissed.
so three years after that i'm still single. now here's when things get kinda difficult. I dont know if its the desperation and starvation of human contact. but something goes on in me. I start liking women that like me and not the other way around. So I joined the PSW group, convinced that i like the women with curves. Then with some conversations with friends and proffessionals i find out that I am becoming attracted to women who find me attracted. I'm not looking and working for women that I am attracted to. So I told a friend about it, and on her advice i decided to leave the PSW group.
Ok, so far it sounds like i'm just a giant asshole and not much of a nice guy. But lets keep going. the ones who know me now know that i am a nice guy and i'll do what ever i can to help out a friend. So now i'm cool i'm relaxing not looking for anything. Then out of the blue a great woman from another message board emails me. I help her with her account, we start talking and she's really cool. she sends me some pictures and she's really good looking, what luck!!! So we go out with a group of mustang guys and she seems genuinely interested in me. So we go out with one of her friends and anothe guy from my mustang forum. so i'm interested in the girl, her friend is extremely drunk and starts hitting on me so now i have no time to talk the one i really want to. all this time this other douche nozzle starts hitting on the one i wanted and i can't do anything about it. So ok, fine I'll deal with it and try again at another time. so i'm talking to her and she tells me that she just wants to be friends.
Wonderful, Is this Karma? Is it pay back from when i was a dick to women? How about the Karma from getting screwed with the love of my life cheating on me? When does that paycheck come in the mail!!! What the hell? I mean, i'm not ugly or not obese. I dont know how much i have to pay in my life for past discretions but i think three years almost four of loneliness and a lack of emotional satisfaction is enough payment! I'm done, I dont know what to do. I'm fucking done. I've screwed up in my life but i think it's my fucking time that i get to have a little bit of happiness in my life! Every time i have a chance for a little hope me or life screws me! I'm done... I'm not going gay but i'm just fucking done. I guess i'm just going to have to come the terms that some higher power's plan was to have me alone and unhappy. and you know what fine! If i have to live like this i guess i have to play the hand life gives me.
In short fuck this, I'm tired of it all. Finding that one person in life that can make you happy shouldn't be this fucking hard and disappointing. so you know what i just dont fucking care anymore.
Lets start at the beginning.
High School:
Lost my virginity in my freshman year to the class slut that was one year ahead of me. not as fun as i thought.
Next, In my sophmore year started going out with a girl thats a year behind me which happens to be the class slut. break up go out with some one less and back too her for the next three years.
The Marine Corps:
Get back together with girl from above everything is going great. I fall in love and propose to her. Her in Cali and me in North Carolina is tough be we seem to be dealing. 6mos before i get out i found out that she's been cheating on me. that was a tough time, very tough. after i started getting a handle of things i met another woman. She was great, pretty, great personality. I thought she would help me get over the betrayal of the past. It was great, till i found out that she was married to another marine. Anyone know that feeling of finding someone that you connect so well with but alas there's no way you can do anything.
Post-Marine Corps:
Getting out of the marines i decided that a girlfriend wasn't something I wanted. I would go to the bank every week to deposit my check. Bank teller, Sarah, she was hot, pretty and had ambition. one day she write her number on the back of balance sheet. I call her later and we come to agreement that we're going to be friends with benifits. Everything is going great. have a hot woman that is willing to have sex with me with no commitment. At the same time there was a security guard at my work that was hot. I picked her up and the same agreement. Friends with benifits. well, Sarah wants more than just benifits. I tell her that we had an agreement so i tell her that was all i can give. At the same time i started getting feelings with the guard. well i lost the good one (sarah) and the guard (anna) didn't want a relationship. So i screwed up on that one. I'll admit that, my bone head move.
after that i got a phillapina girlfriend. She was good she was great took care of me really well. well guess what i screwed that one up too. I met a girl online that i really liked. So, i broke up with the philapina to be with the hispanic. Three years later, we both play Matrix online. She invites some dude from the east coast to come visit Cali. No big deal right? So she tells me about it and i say cool. I'll take some days off and we can show him around. her responce? "I'm taking him down to San Diego and i dont want you to go" well by this time i've become less of an asshole and i was now a nice guy. So this kinda pissed me off, but you know what i wanted to trust her so i let her go. It was a three day weekend so she had to go to work on Tuesday. Tuesday night i get a phone call from her mom that is frantic cause she hasn't called all weekend. Turns out that she told her mom that i was going to be with her all weekend. And me being too nice covers for her. So now i'm trying to get a hold of her for a few hours. Finally i get a text from her, "I dont want to talk right now, i'm on my way to Vegas." So that really pissed me off and i broke up with her. I asked her, "did you expect me not to break up with you for what you did?" She said, "I knew you were going to be mad and break up with me, but i thought you were going to take me back." well that got me even more pissed.
so three years after that i'm still single. now here's when things get kinda difficult. I dont know if its the desperation and starvation of human contact. but something goes on in me. I start liking women that like me and not the other way around. So I joined the PSW group, convinced that i like the women with curves. Then with some conversations with friends and proffessionals i find out that I am becoming attracted to women who find me attracted. I'm not looking and working for women that I am attracted to. So I told a friend about it, and on her advice i decided to leave the PSW group.
Ok, so far it sounds like i'm just a giant asshole and not much of a nice guy. But lets keep going. the ones who know me now know that i am a nice guy and i'll do what ever i can to help out a friend. So now i'm cool i'm relaxing not looking for anything. Then out of the blue a great woman from another message board emails me. I help her with her account, we start talking and she's really cool. she sends me some pictures and she's really good looking, what luck!!! So we go out with a group of mustang guys and she seems genuinely interested in me. So we go out with one of her friends and anothe guy from my mustang forum. so i'm interested in the girl, her friend is extremely drunk and starts hitting on me so now i have no time to talk the one i really want to. all this time this other douche nozzle starts hitting on the one i wanted and i can't do anything about it. So ok, fine I'll deal with it and try again at another time. so i'm talking to her and she tells me that she just wants to be friends.
Wonderful, Is this Karma? Is it pay back from when i was a dick to women? How about the Karma from getting screwed with the love of my life cheating on me? When does that paycheck come in the mail!!! What the hell? I mean, i'm not ugly or not obese. I dont know how much i have to pay in my life for past discretions but i think three years almost four of loneliness and a lack of emotional satisfaction is enough payment! I'm done, I dont know what to do. I'm fucking done. I've screwed up in my life but i think it's my fucking time that i get to have a little bit of happiness in my life! Every time i have a chance for a little hope me or life screws me! I'm done... I'm not going gay but i'm just fucking done. I guess i'm just going to have to come the terms that some higher power's plan was to have me alone and unhappy. and you know what fine! If i have to live like this i guess i have to play the hand life gives me.
In short fuck this, I'm tired of it all. Finding that one person in life that can make you happy shouldn't be this fucking hard and disappointing. so you know what i just dont fucking care anymore.
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good luck