im just wondering if anyone else has even broken up with their partners and yet seemingly finding your way back into bed with them at any given moment?
im a little confused and i am guilty of the above, but it wasnt my idea to break up. Shes at uni and im in the Air Force, was never going to be easy but hey u know i gave it my best shot...when i was away and she was home i was always calling and supporting, travelling any amount of miles to see her because i was mad for her...loved her move than anything! didnt care how much it cost to travel, or even if the main reason was just to see her and not family or friends! none of it mattered because i loved her.
this lasted a year with me away, then it was her turn to go away and start the next stage in life. This has happened before i thought...not just to me but many of my friends had lost a girlfriend within a couple of months because of this new uni life..which we cant blame them for but i expected different. After all my hard work and effort to make us work i thought she would do the same...as after all she 'loved' me and i was her first and we were the happy typical couple, always happy always smiling!
Hardest moment of my life came, even bigger than leaving home for the forces, she left for uni...heart wrenching in my throat as i drive away knowning i wont see her for weeks/months. for the first 3 weeks she was always on the phone, crying.. she hated it and i was there whenever she phoned, mostly in the middle of the night but i didnt care, i just wanted to be there for the woman i loved, just like she had been when i first joined up.
yet as soon as she was settled in, made some friends the phone calls stopped coming. days of no contact because she was 'busy'....how gutted did i feel!! then photos of her and a few guys popped up here and there which ofcourse isnt a problem, people have friends...however after barely any contact your mind can play you, i had even been down there and visited, got on with all her friends and things seemed good..until i went back. we chatted rarely...mainly argued until one day she just admitted that she does have time to call me more or text me...but she just didnt want to, and doesnt know why. Not nice to hear as you come close to 2 seemingly happy years together. Together we decided it would be best to call it a day, let eachother lead our own lifes....the neutral breakup, devestated as i was i knew it was probably for the best..should i fight to make it work which was draining me enough as it was, for the past few months i had done everything, the travelling/costs etc so no why should i any more.
2-3 weeks past and i was a mess, nothing but drinking and fighting which is the complete opposite of who i am and she comes back home. Wants to meet me....how can i say no im still madly in love with her. so we meet up, went for lunch and we giggled and got on well, ye we had both seen other people since and hated it...even if it was a drunken thing, still hurt but people do silly shit. She is home for the entire christmas break i am so we meet up again...christmas eve, she calls me 4am drunk crying 'i need u right now, can i come over?' ok sure ill come and get you...didnt even have to think about it but i cnt listen to her cry, it is the worst thing to listen to..the woman you love crying hysterically! we are talking and i cheer her up, making it out like im ok, but i suddenly realise that she is feeling just as bad as i am about the whole thing so in a way, i feel better too. Next thing i know were having sex...emotions flying high and it went on till the morning when i dropped her home so no one notiched she was gone. this happened again new year and then again before i left to go back to work. Fuck did it make it harder...my head was being battered around like a drum, ye i was part to blame but sometimes you just cant help it. she starts saying 'i hate you' in the way you would tell someone you 'love' them. hinting she hates loving me, and im responding with 'i hate you 2'
but recently she has been back at uni and again once she is away i never hear from her unless she is drunk or upset. my friends say she is using me when she wants a boyfriend but doesnt want to commit. maybe but i dont know...she also admitted its because im going away for 3 months with the air force. im still so confused :/ havent heard from her in ages and tonight!! not an hour ago me and her where having phone sex and exchanging photos. what the hell is wrong with me...her....US!!
feels alot better writing this all out..gets aload of stress off i guess.
much love
im a little confused and i am guilty of the above, but it wasnt my idea to break up. Shes at uni and im in the Air Force, was never going to be easy but hey u know i gave it my best shot...when i was away and she was home i was always calling and supporting, travelling any amount of miles to see her because i was mad for her...loved her move than anything! didnt care how much it cost to travel, or even if the main reason was just to see her and not family or friends! none of it mattered because i loved her.
this lasted a year with me away, then it was her turn to go away and start the next stage in life. This has happened before i thought...not just to me but many of my friends had lost a girlfriend within a couple of months because of this new uni life..which we cant blame them for but i expected different. After all my hard work and effort to make us work i thought she would do the same...as after all she 'loved' me and i was her first and we were the happy typical couple, always happy always smiling!
Hardest moment of my life came, even bigger than leaving home for the forces, she left for uni...heart wrenching in my throat as i drive away knowning i wont see her for weeks/months. for the first 3 weeks she was always on the phone, crying.. she hated it and i was there whenever she phoned, mostly in the middle of the night but i didnt care, i just wanted to be there for the woman i loved, just like she had been when i first joined up.
yet as soon as she was settled in, made some friends the phone calls stopped coming. days of no contact because she was 'busy'....how gutted did i feel!! then photos of her and a few guys popped up here and there which ofcourse isnt a problem, people have friends...however after barely any contact your mind can play you, i had even been down there and visited, got on with all her friends and things seemed good..until i went back. we chatted rarely...mainly argued until one day she just admitted that she does have time to call me more or text me...but she just didnt want to, and doesnt know why. Not nice to hear as you come close to 2 seemingly happy years together. Together we decided it would be best to call it a day, let eachother lead our own lifes....the neutral breakup, devestated as i was i knew it was probably for the best..should i fight to make it work which was draining me enough as it was, for the past few months i had done everything, the travelling/costs etc so no why should i any more.
2-3 weeks past and i was a mess, nothing but drinking and fighting which is the complete opposite of who i am and she comes back home. Wants to meet me....how can i say no im still madly in love with her. so we meet up, went for lunch and we giggled and got on well, ye we had both seen other people since and hated it...even if it was a drunken thing, still hurt but people do silly shit. She is home for the entire christmas break i am so we meet up again...christmas eve, she calls me 4am drunk crying 'i need u right now, can i come over?' ok sure ill come and get you...didnt even have to think about it but i cnt listen to her cry, it is the worst thing to listen to..the woman you love crying hysterically! we are talking and i cheer her up, making it out like im ok, but i suddenly realise that she is feeling just as bad as i am about the whole thing so in a way, i feel better too. Next thing i know were having sex...emotions flying high and it went on till the morning when i dropped her home so no one notiched she was gone. this happened again new year and then again before i left to go back to work. Fuck did it make it harder...my head was being battered around like a drum, ye i was part to blame but sometimes you just cant help it. she starts saying 'i hate you' in the way you would tell someone you 'love' them. hinting she hates loving me, and im responding with 'i hate you 2'
but recently she has been back at uni and again once she is away i never hear from her unless she is drunk or upset. my friends say she is using me when she wants a boyfriend but doesnt want to commit. maybe but i dont know...she also admitted its because im going away for 3 months with the air force. im still so confused :/ havent heard from her in ages and tonight!! not an hour ago me and her where having phone sex and exchanging photos. what the hell is wrong with me...her....US!!
feels alot better writing this all out..gets aload of stress off i guess.
much love