marsmars

What a dark day this is for your humble master, "The Left." I have lost all will to carry on in my witty and rhetorical ways. I feel my sense of inherent superiority slowly slipping down the metaphorical slide of stagnation. I don't know what I'll have left to cling to, when I lose the last personal asset I really had.

The problem isn't even...
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Trembles with anticipation There's a burly hispanic chap fixing my washing machine right now. I am contemplating overpowering him, and plunging him into the dark abyss that is my pantry.

There he would remain until the end of days, forever wondering what he did to deserve such vicious punishment. Nobody would ever know he was gone.

Now I must go with haste to make plans...
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Greetings, knaves! It is I, your master, come to survey his domain. I apologize for any disturbances I might have caused to your planetary atmosphere last night. I had several attacks launched from space on your pitiful earthly military installations. Do not be frightened. My forces always do this before I colonize a planet.

Yes, the rumors you have heard are true. This is also...
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Hello world. Today, I took that big step into the unknown vastness that is the SG public domain. Already I feel as though my mortal body has been usurped by the unholy god of procrastination, as I have abandoned all inclination to leave my place here before "The Machine." Human concepts such as "rest," and "sustinence" mean nothing to me now. We are beyond such...
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