mark311

i hate being the topic of conversation. somtimes i think that the most pointless things that i do end up being talked about by my close friends and their girlfriends. i guess thats what i get for being the only single one. im trying to just exist on my own, make advances internally. then i find out that "everyone" thinks they know whats going on in my head even though they're way off. "hey mark,,,whyd you stop drinking?"///"hey mark...whats up with that girl?"///"hey mark...i heard your trying to get into shape?" You know what, FUCK OFF! im gonna do what i feel like and i dont need "judges" to grade my performance. its just motivation to do my shit and succeed, to show them what's up. i love typing like this when im drunk. its really theraputic. i hate/love myself. i want to hop a freight with sexek, i know if i feel this way in 2 months im going to halifax with him. there is alot of shit i want to do to spite ppl, but i know that that doesnt matter. its how u live with yourself thats important. its the experiences and thoughts that get stuck in your head that mold how u see the world. and im hoping that someday those things wil mold me into a good solid healthy human being. if i can achieve that i can live in peace. for now i will try to keep working hard, to acheive the things i have set in front of me. maybe i can be content with the journey even if i do not see the finish. having faith helps i think. faith in myself

curtis mayfield
tribe called quest
mos def
fischerspooner

help yourself and love life

love