It's a Brand New Day
It has been entirely too long since I've posted...I know. Sorry.
I'm in good spirits though. I have a very positive outlook on this year...and I have a ton of goals I have set for myself. Though I do not intend on getting ALL of them accomplished, they do keep me motivated...and I'm sure I'll get to most of them.
I've been eating better...and feeling better about myself. Both physically and emotionally. I cook almost every night now. It's yummiful.
Conan and I are doing swell. Better than swell even. X.mas sucked for a number of reasons and New Years Eve was uneventful because of all the snow/ice on the roads, but I'm feeling a LOT better about us. Over the past few months, we've had a series of long talks...and things have come to light. I'm also okay with the things that probably won't change. I've weighed the good and bad...and the good most definitely out weighs the bad (though I don't write much here about the good...which I plan on changing this year)...and I've decided that I can accept/live with things that, in the big scheme of things, are pretty petty.
The one thing I really need to change is my financial situation...because it's looking really bad right now. Really Bad. I don't have money for anything but rent. Now that it is Jan, my hours have been cut back durastically. I'm fishing for another job...but don't think I can get one until after I get back from Pittsburgh/N.J./NYC. I don't want to shorten my trip...or postpone it because I haven't been home in a year...and I really need to see my family.
Lately I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I've been overwhelmed by feelings of fear. Fear of what? I've been having anxiety attacks in the middle of the night...and it sucks. I'm not sure if it's my money issues...or the fact that I have to fly in about 3 weeks. I should have never watched "La Bamba" as a child. I know that may sound funny, but my fear of flying is super fucking intense and I'm positive it came from me watching that shit.
Fuck it.
It has been entirely too long since I've posted...I know. Sorry.
I'm in good spirits though. I have a very positive outlook on this year...and I have a ton of goals I have set for myself. Though I do not intend on getting ALL of them accomplished, they do keep me motivated...and I'm sure I'll get to most of them.
I've been eating better...and feeling better about myself. Both physically and emotionally. I cook almost every night now. It's yummiful.
Conan and I are doing swell. Better than swell even. X.mas sucked for a number of reasons and New Years Eve was uneventful because of all the snow/ice on the roads, but I'm feeling a LOT better about us. Over the past few months, we've had a series of long talks...and things have come to light. I'm also okay with the things that probably won't change. I've weighed the good and bad...and the good most definitely out weighs the bad (though I don't write much here about the good...which I plan on changing this year)...and I've decided that I can accept/live with things that, in the big scheme of things, are pretty petty.
The one thing I really need to change is my financial situation...because it's looking really bad right now. Really Bad. I don't have money for anything but rent. Now that it is Jan, my hours have been cut back durastically. I'm fishing for another job...but don't think I can get one until after I get back from Pittsburgh/N.J./NYC. I don't want to shorten my trip...or postpone it because I haven't been home in a year...and I really need to see my family.
Lately I've been having a lot of trouble sleeping. I've been overwhelmed by feelings of fear. Fear of what? I've been having anxiety attacks in the middle of the night...and it sucks. I'm not sure if it's my money issues...or the fact that I have to fly in about 3 weeks. I should have never watched "La Bamba" as a child. I know that may sound funny, but my fear of flying is super fucking intense and I'm positive it came from me watching that shit.
Fuck it.
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-cecilia.
Thank you for the message...Christmas sucked, but...I'm trying to be positive!
Take care.