i went to see billy corgan in concert, recently. aside from the amazing, pressed-against-the-barricade view of the stage and that glorious man, i was completely absorbed in the aesthetics of the set design and the venue. so many things welled up inside me as i watched the show, which i attributed to the emotional vulnerability certain music gives me. you feel a connection to music and then feel a little sheepish being called out on something you were not aware you had to confront.
after the show, i overheard someone ask about the afterparty. ever since my first concert (the smashing pumpkins and garbage when i was 14), i wondered how i could manage to get into one. so i followed this person until i found the door, which was guarded by someone checking for VIP passes. there's got to be some way to get in there. someone brought me out of my thoughts, "suicide girls, huh? are you on the site?" and behold! i was wearing my complimentary SG tank top. he asked me a bit about the site, which i am always more than happy to promote, and after some friendly conversation, i was bestowed with a VIP pass. a chorus of angels swelled in my ears and the shining gates of fortune opened before me.
i got a cherry coke from the bar and was surprised at the amount of composure i had. after all, only a select few things i keep close to my heart have the privilege of inhabiting my skin, as well. billy stepped into the room quietly and unannounced. a bit overwhelmed, i hesitated before i approached him and asked him to sign my ticket. we talked for a few minutes and i was immediately struck by how gently he spoke and how sincerely he did so. relaxed posture, eye contact, warm smiles (be still my heart). he looked down at my arm and held me by the wrist to extend my arm to get a better look. "is that a tattoo? oh wow, that's beautiful." and my heart skipped a beat. the only thoughts in my head were his hands are so warm! his touch is so soft! i got shy and thanked him.
when i left the afterparty, i saw him go on his tour bus. he stopped again to hang out with the fans outside and then waved to everyone before disappearing.
>_< o_O
it's been a little while now and i still haven't fully processed that evening. i am grateful in more ways than i am willing to express.
after the show, i overheard someone ask about the afterparty. ever since my first concert (the smashing pumpkins and garbage when i was 14), i wondered how i could manage to get into one. so i followed this person until i found the door, which was guarded by someone checking for VIP passes. there's got to be some way to get in there. someone brought me out of my thoughts, "suicide girls, huh? are you on the site?" and behold! i was wearing my complimentary SG tank top. he asked me a bit about the site, which i am always more than happy to promote, and after some friendly conversation, i was bestowed with a VIP pass. a chorus of angels swelled in my ears and the shining gates of fortune opened before me.
i got a cherry coke from the bar and was surprised at the amount of composure i had. after all, only a select few things i keep close to my heart have the privilege of inhabiting my skin, as well. billy stepped into the room quietly and unannounced. a bit overwhelmed, i hesitated before i approached him and asked him to sign my ticket. we talked for a few minutes and i was immediately struck by how gently he spoke and how sincerely he did so. relaxed posture, eye contact, warm smiles (be still my heart). he looked down at my arm and held me by the wrist to extend my arm to get a better look. "is that a tattoo? oh wow, that's beautiful." and my heart skipped a beat. the only thoughts in my head were his hands are so warm! his touch is so soft! i got shy and thanked him.
when i left the afterparty, i saw him go on his tour bus. he stopped again to hang out with the fans outside and then waved to everyone before disappearing.
>_< o_O
it's been a little while now and i still haven't fully processed that evening. i am grateful in more ways than i am willing to express.
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[Edited on Aug 09, 2005 3:17PM]