The thing that makes me saddest about my father's lack of care, I can't help but wonder whether his years of living have shown him that it is best not to care. I know it cannot be true - that it is best not to care; love will always be the heart of everything for me.
And then it makes me wonder what kind of loveless upbringing made my father the way he is. I know his father was a bastard and an alcoholic who drank himself to death, and his mother went roughly the same way, so then it all makes some kind of sense(less/loveless). And then I guess I just have to get used to the fact that he is the way he is, and it comes from a time long before I was around, so I should not take it to heart. That's hard.
And then it makes me wonder what kind of loveless upbringing made my father the way he is. I know his father was a bastard and an alcoholic who drank himself to death, and his mother went roughly the same way, so then it all makes some kind of sense(less/loveless). And then I guess I just have to get used to the fact that he is the way he is, and it comes from a time long before I was around, so I should not take it to heart. That's hard.
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Oh and I'm down next weekend but am on a hen night so that's pretty much planned.