The DJ started with "Some Nights" by Fun. Not my personal favorite, but I can understand how someone can be nostalgic for some soft rock tunes from 2012. It was a crazy year. We almost ALL DIED. So I felt a slight connection with Ray the DJ. Amberella my lap dancer, on the other hand, was not particularly pleased by the musical choice of Ray the 300 pound DJ. And like any other free spirited lady of the night, she expressed her emotions to me accordingly,
"This fucking song makes me want to shoot myself in the pussy."
I wasn't well equipped for a response.
The 5 foot 3 blond with neck tats and pierced nipples was tiny and did not look like she wanted to dance on me. Her moves were as robotic as a middle school slow dance and twice as awkward. As she force grinded on me (not to be confused with a force push, which is awesome), sighing between repetitions, I thought what her day may have been like.
Maybe she received some unsavory cat calls as she walked near a constriction site?
Maybe her mom refused to babysit her daughter before work and she had to call the baby daddy?
Maybe someone, gulp, CAME on her during a recent lap dance?
More I thought about her deep inner pain, the worse I felt. I figured a little bit of cheering up would spark her fire and I would get a dance for the ages. So I politely said, "Hey, whatever happened today, I'm sure things will be alright." It felt good to say and I had an immediate smile on my face. I felt like "Captain Save-a-girl-who-gets-naked-for-money-and-dances-on-strangers". Amberella turned around, looked me right in the eyes and replied to my bit of good cheer wholeheartedly,
"Shut the fuck up and open these chicken legs a bit wider."
She flipped her hair in my face and continued grinding away.
I spit out the shards of bleached hair and no longer had that smile I was talking about above, on my face. I was pissed.
"I work out ok? These are running legs. Legs of a soon-to-be marathoner who ninja jedis in the hearts of women everywhere. I am a machine of awesome and no chicken!"
"You are so skinny it's sad. The only muscles you have are the ones making that big mouth of yours move!"
"Do you have daddy issues?"
"I have shit head issues."
There was no penetrating her wall of insults and misconstructed self-esteem. I huffed and puffed and wanted to push her off, but something happened, the song changed.
"Oh my," she cooed. "This is um, 'Too Afraid..something, right?"
I was scared to answer thinking it was a rhetorical question she was going to use to lash back on me. But I could feel her body relaxing and loosening up with every guitar stroke. "Too Afraid To Love You, by the Black Keys," I said.
"Don't get up, this one is on me.."
All of a sudden I was with a whole other dancer and the crass Amberella I met just a short time ago had been replaced with a sultry goddess who faced me while she danced and rubbed her body on mine like we had more history than just meeting earlier in the evening. She moved like poetry. Like The Black Keys wrote the song while watching her! My thoughts of her change.
I wonder if she collects things like the Little Mermaid and sinks about at how it would be to live in a world with us mere mortals?
I wonder if her silhouette in a flip book would also make me this hard?
I wonder if she would let me take HER last name?
When things wrapped up and she came to, out of her daze of sexual allure she asked,
"Shit, your still here? Wanna buy another one?"
:-)
@missy @rambo I guess I tag you ladies if I think my blog is hot shit. This is new lol.
