I have two really great friends and I love them both soooo very much! ..but....they hate each other! They were friends at one time and had a big falling out.. they go back and forth on social media at each other and i see it all cause I'm friends with them both. They are always asking me questions about the other. I was pretty much given an ultimatum I have to choose which one to be my friend. They both said they will not talk to me anymore if i talk to the other! I love them both and have known both since i was a kid. I'm so sad right now. What do i do? How do I handle the situation? I don't wanna lose one friend and i especially don't wanna lose two. How should i go about this? Please help!!!
@rambo @missy -blog homework
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oldernow:
Since the problem did not arise from your interaction with either, there is no way you can solve the problem. it is just possible that a counselor could, if both parties have the will to address their issue rather than massage their throbbing egos... but it takes that impersonal third person plus a good deal of commitment from the two alienated individuals to even create the possibility of fixing things. you, as a personal friend to one or both can't fill that role because you cannot be absolutely impartial--you know too much of their backstory... / the best thing to do is to refuse to choose as others are saying; the choice is up to the other two people. if either one of them chooses to keep you in their life, they must do so accepting that you have other relationships that they might or might not be comfortable around (this is true of all human beings over the age of two), and that those other relationships are none of their business (mostly). -- but bottom line, they made the problem, they have to take action--any action you take, any choice you make just feeds their ego and will cause you grief.
oldun65:
So hard! I'd tell both that you won't make that choice because you aren't siding with either one. You still want them both to be your friend and put the ball firmly back in their court. In the end if your friendship isn't important enough it is their loss. 💜