so i got the internet working here. it's not very reliable though. keeps messing up and going SLOW
ugh.
i've had a half a bottle of merlot,
its after 3 am, and i need a smoke.
if only i could write more than one or 2 lines, that might be a good poem or song, eh?
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
well first off i must say that when i typed "spoiler" it came out "soiler" which is funny! but the reason i was making this 'spoiler' is to say these are the last 2 "one liners" i've written:
i'm all lost in blood and red liquid dreams
i've had a half a bottle of merlot,
it's after 3am, and i need a smoke
this is just so i can have them together so i can mess around with my thoughts when i'm in a more capable mood to create writing.
Purgatory is tomorrow. i work til 10 PM, i bought something tonight i might wear and i think i know what my whole outfit will be, i just need to buy one or 2 more things. staying up late isn't helping that happen though. wish i didn't have to sleep. and i also wish i had a kink/fetish friendly friend who wasn't already gonna be AT Purgatory when i get off work, cause i could really use some help with what i'm wearing, since it won't be easy to put on. but whatever, i'll manage, i always do right?
wow wine is nice, i can think straight, and think a lot and type a lot, yet i still feel drunk.
other half of the bottle HERE I COME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
okay so maybe i'm fucked up, and emotionally damaged, and i do things i shouldn't. but i TRY to stay happy, and i try my best to make everyone else happy, and i don't want to die (even tho i entertain the idea(but hey doesn't everyone at some point?) and i go to work every day, and i do what i have to and i still go out and have fun and friends. so who cares if i drink a bottle of wine, it's not the end of the world......
*edit at 4am*
please convince me to keep growing my hair long, cause i REALLY wanna cut it short again(it looks so good that way! and the b/f likes it, and i knw others like it short too) i just wanna try to grow it down to the middle of my back.....damn i miss short hair....
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Beatles- Blackbird
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these sunken eyes and learn to see
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to be free.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night.
Blackbird fly, Blackbird fly
Into the light of a dark black night.
Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
You were only waiting for this moment to arise
here's something nice to read:
SPOILERS! (Click to view)
Chapter One
He was dripping with sweat and blood, his face was red from exertion, but he was calm inside, relaxed. He was sitting against a grimey brick wall in an ally. He was smoking a cigarette. He wasn't alone. A body laid in front of his outstretched legs. It was curled up, twisted into itself as if it was still trying to hide from all the blows, before it finally gave up trying to live and realized the only possible end to all the pain, was death. Which is exactly what he wanted anyway. There were spatters of red all around, slowly camouflaging themselves with the rest of the filth that seemed to cover everything in the area, even the young man. He wiped some of it from his hand onto his dark blue 501's, took the last drag from his Lucky Strike cigarette then snubbed it out on the ground next to him.
Cleaning things up was easy. He wasn't worried about leaving traces of his actions behind, not at such a decrepit place. Still, he didn't want to draw any unneeded attention to the situation, even if no one would really care about the person who's life he'd just ended. Except for her, but that's why he was doing it, and he would see her soon.
He wrapped the body in trash bags he had just taken from his car and lugged it over his back to the trunk of his car. It was a little difficult but he managed to shove the person in. He took another look around, just in case he forgot anything, slammed the trunk, got in, started the car, and went on his way into the early morning darkness.
Copyrighted by Mandalic 2004-2006
Yeah I got home at four. Little detour with a couple stripper friends. That last dance was good, reminded me of times I needed to be reminded of. We should totally rule this next one with the the pony gear. (Yeah I got some...) 
