i keep having dreams i am pregnant(had another last night). my dreams are always very detailed, like alternate realities. so it's been affecting me emotionally when i wake.<edit> generally these dreams symbolize a new phase or creativity that is growing in one's life, however i don't think what it's symbolizing is far off frome what the symbol is</edit>
seeing children during the day(the smaller, non annoying ones that haven't already started to be screwed up by their parents) and babies makes me want to have my own.
at the same time i realize that i don't actually want to try to have kids right now, and that i couldn't. it's just feelings i've been having for awhile now. i'm barely able to take care of myself, blah blah blah, AND not to mention the person i love, is too young and i wouldn't have kids with him(at least not any time in the next few years).
but then there is this other part of me, and it's telling me that if my situation was different, that i could have kids, and be able to take care of them. like if i was with an older guy who had money(not lots, just the kind that comes with growing up and having a job for awhile), that i wouldn't have to wait as long. or if it were back when jobs and money weren't as important for survival or something like that.
i just feel like the only reason my life isn't where i want it to be right now, is because of money. and i hate that. i feel like i want to grow up already. at least sometimes. and i know i want children as soon as i CAN have them.
let me know what you all think.
seeing children during the day(the smaller, non annoying ones that haven't already started to be screwed up by their parents) and babies makes me want to have my own.
at the same time i realize that i don't actually want to try to have kids right now, and that i couldn't. it's just feelings i've been having for awhile now. i'm barely able to take care of myself, blah blah blah, AND not to mention the person i love, is too young and i wouldn't have kids with him(at least not any time in the next few years).
but then there is this other part of me, and it's telling me that if my situation was different, that i could have kids, and be able to take care of them. like if i was with an older guy who had money(not lots, just the kind that comes with growing up and having a job for awhile), that i wouldn't have to wait as long. or if it were back when jobs and money weren't as important for survival or something like that.
i just feel like the only reason my life isn't where i want it to be right now, is because of money. and i hate that. i feel like i want to grow up already. at least sometimes. and i know i want children as soon as i CAN have them.
let me know what you all think.
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You are too young to have kids yet, but at the same time you can't wait forever. It will never be "the right time" to have a baby. There will always be some goal you want to reach, or something you have to pay for, etc. etc. You will never be living under perfect conditions, and of course once you do have a kid those conditions will become a lot more imperfect.