mamabunny

From my personal collection:

'SM'

This is my special message for you, as requested on May 05 of 2002 at approx. 13 hours. What do you need me to say? att You already know that I LOVE YOU! so i guess i dont need to say I LOVE YOU! or maybe i do need to say it,

I LOVE YOU!!!

So, other then that, whats up? Have you learned anything new from this letter? Maybe you understand a little better perhaps? You are probably on the road right now and if it seems boring, remember, its FUN! Perpetual Movement onward momentum going....going....GOING FURTHER!

Dont take it for granted, its a good time. Also, its not nice to hang up on your father, or anyone for that matter. I just observed this action, and it hurt me to watch it. There are many people who love you, very much, and when you do that its a big ol slap in the face. The purpose and essence of life is Love. And time not spent spreading this all conveying and penetrating force is time, well, wasted. Sometimes i feel you dont understand that well enough. If someone hurts you, it is because they may not be observing this fact. And the only way to respond is to resupplement their love from you. Cutting someone off prevents that flow for a very long time. I dont want to upset you with this, i just want to make sure that youre making sure every action you make is radiating LOVE. It will make the world a better place. (picture of a sunshine with a smiley face)

If the road is getting you down at all, remember, at least it isnt a BUS! oh man, be glad you are sitting next to your father and not a crack dealer from Los Angeles. Also be glad you dont have to smell other peoples urine and feces from the toilet in the back. Be even more glad you dont have to lock yourself up in that dirty thing and take a shit and watch others faces when you come out and they smell it. But anyways, besides the whole car thing...

I am sorry this letter couldnt be longer than it will be. If i was typing it, it would be so much longer, and not to mention, L E G I B L E. Sorry about that too. mmmmm, look who left some NERDS here for me!! *munch munch* oops, got some on the paper. Hey, if you get hungry, you could eat some i left for you! Damit, i tried several times to draw you a fairy on the side of this paper, but i kept messing up : ( Oh, thanks again for the Nerds, they sure are fucking tasty! ow, they are hurting my teeth! Well, not too bad at least. Uh oh, there is a drawing on the next page. I guess this will have to be the last page of my letter. It was fun writing you, I hope you can read it. You will probably be back from HEB pretty soon anyways, and i got lots of hugs and kisses for you when you walk through that door soon. I hope you were ready for them! Well, since there is SOME space left, i guess i can ask you how you are enjoying reading 'Autobiography of a Yogi!' You ARE reading it arent you? I hope this single spaced-ness isnt too sloppy. My hand hurt a little too which makes it messier. Wait, i just realized, its been a while since i said I LOVE YOU! ok, now that that was said, i can tell you to be ready for the song i am going to have made (just for you!) when you get back! That is if my computer isnt still F U C K E D up the A S S. I hope it isnt! And i hope my new hard disk comes soon. Your dad just called, said he was pulling in to the apt and asked if you were around. You arent back yet! I can not wait any longer to hug you and kiss you! GET BACK FROM HEB! You are takin way too long at the store!
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I've been re-reading that letter a lot lately. I shouldnt. But i shouldnt do a 'LOT' of things. But that letter got me through a lot of rough times. Its an incredibly important link to my past, and i read it when i feel weakened by anything. If anything, the author of that letter was brilliant. God, he was brilliant. And he knew me, back and front. And front and back. And back again. I always used to tell him, 'I wish we could become water, and become one.' And there were times we were water. There were times i breathed for him, and he for me. And i could never understand his love for me. It was my trying to dissect that, that brought us to where we are now. But everything was always so right. When we made love, always, fireworks. When he laughed, i swam inside it. We lived as if we would never die, and always loved. He tamed my eccentricities. I kept him from drowning.

I think about his Love, oh his Love. His Holy Love. His penetrating Love. His Purity. He couldnt hold my rising spirit. Because i am everchanging. I didnt understand it then, and hated it. But i do now, and its ok. I have nothing but wonderful memories of him. And it always makes me happy to know he knows how much i Loved him, purely and simply and Holy. He taught me great things. Great things. In 5 years i never called him a derrogatory name, i never raised my voice, i never yelled. I cried and he cried, and we laughed and smiled and we were water. We will always be. And if he knows, i model many things after him. Always love, my darling.