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malloreigh

Canada

SG Since 2003

Followers 6263 Following 203

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Wednesday Nov 11, 2009

Nov 11, 2009
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i have a question for you. so, i am a suicide girl. i've got seventeen sets, in all of which i am photographed nude. they are on the internet and will always be. i don't have control over that. that's cool, i'm cool with it. that's not the only reason i can't become a high school social studies teacher - i'm also an out lesbian, and i have visible tattoos. so, that ship has sailed.

i do, however, dream of pursuing a doctorate and teaching at the post-secondary level. i can't imagine that it would, but does anyone know if these choices i've made will endanger my ability to get a job teaching adults at a college or university?

i suppose it'd be up to the institution in question, and i'm sure that if i have a good academic history, it'll matter less. i would like to know whether it'd be a good idea for me to start scaling back my level of exposure on the internet, having this goal in mind.

it's just one of several goals, of course. my mind is swimming with potentialities lately. i have so many ideas. i've been doing a lot - i even painted today, for the first time really in almost a year. it felt good.



i've been single for over two months now. it is feeling right. i don't even want to be with anyone. i've gone on a few dates and i have a couple of friends with whom i occasionally pursue romantic interludes, but on the whole i'm pretty fine with being on my own. i like having my own space, sleeping in my own bed, and not owing my time to anyone but myself to do with what i please. in fact, the thought of being with someone right now is kind of unsavoury. i don't want it.

i don't think there have been many other times in my life when i could have honestly said that.



despite what the above photo might lead you to believe, i have been very femme in style lately. a lot of skirts, shorts, tights. putting my hair up. it feels good. for a long time, years, i didn't feel comfortable in skirts and dresses, and wore a uniform of jeans, sneakers, a hoodie, a t-shirt or tank top. i am glad to be back. i like to dress up.



windowsill and i are both hanging around on SG right now, on our computers, sitting in the same room, listening to the stills. it's great. i love computing with her. she's my compupeer. together we are computeers.

on friday night, i lost a contact lens in a piss-stained alley on the downtown eastside. i've worn glasses every day since. that night, however, i decided not to go home - i just danced, danced, disoriented and half-blind, with no depth perception. it was strange.

VIEW 25 of 65 COMMENTS
joejo:
wow, the first photo is amazing!! <3love
Dec 23, 2009
redskin21:
Well, I am rather ignorant as to requirements to teach in the states. I know in Italy they probably woul d'nt even say "Hi" to you, so thank god you 're not there! I suppose that it does depend on whatever institution you choose, I would 'nt scrap a similar objective!
Feb 19, 2010

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