Ladies and gentlemen, my friends:
Malkav is watchin' Speed Racer. The movie, on BluRay. Is verra spanglesome inna visual, rather confused otherweese. He is, for example, somewhat mystified by the family arrangement in which a) Speed's girlfriend apparently lives with the family, and b) there is a monkey for no apparent reason.
You say, "I assume this is because these things were in the anime, which I never watched on the principle that racing is not exactly the most interesting subject in the world to me."
You say, "Although I don't think I'd gathered that the cars in question had undermounted springs, or weaponry or such."
Wintergreen says, "Is fast cars movie what go fast."
Wintergreen says, "Sometimes in space."
Malkav also had not, to be honest, expected ninjas. Or piranha-tank aquariums in posh lounges inside semi trailers.
Wintergreen says, "Then your expectations were clearly inadequate."
Malkav shuts the movie off. "Still had 20+ minutes to go, can't stay up that late. But they'd just been given an invitation to the Grand Prix, so that seemed like a good break point."
Wintergreen says, "Speed almost wins, but monkey runs out to track on finish line. Swerves, crashes, asplosion. All limbs replaced by hooks. Terrorizes sorority house, chased down by mob in junkyard, smashed in car compactor. Or is he!"
Wintergreen says, "Sequel: Speed Racer 2: Panic at the Disco."
Wintergreen says, "Vietnam vet with artificial leg tortured by horrible dreams of disfigured ex-racecar driver. Discovers leg made from melted-down car and hooks of Speed. Tries to assuage by moving into a brothel, gratuitous sex and drugs ensue. Speed causes pimp's snazzy motorcycle to crash into a muscle car, possesses wreckage, kills hookers one by one. Young hooker with a heart of gold and vietnam vet join forces, fight Speed, climactic drag race, Speed goes over retaining wall into concrete pour for highway cloverleaf, vanishes in."
Wintergreen says, "Speed 3: Road Rash Nuclear Pizza. Post-apocalyptic. Biker gang hybridized with monkey chromosome controls last stretch of unbroken freeway, which could be an artery for trade that would rebuild the world. Outcast scientist and his hard-boiled girlfriend form alliance with Speed's ghost to defeat."
Malkav is watchin' Speed Racer. The movie, on BluRay. Is verra spanglesome inna visual, rather confused otherweese. He is, for example, somewhat mystified by the family arrangement in which a) Speed's girlfriend apparently lives with the family, and b) there is a monkey for no apparent reason.
You say, "I assume this is because these things were in the anime, which I never watched on the principle that racing is not exactly the most interesting subject in the world to me."
You say, "Although I don't think I'd gathered that the cars in question had undermounted springs, or weaponry or such."
Wintergreen says, "Is fast cars movie what go fast."
Wintergreen says, "Sometimes in space."
Malkav also had not, to be honest, expected ninjas. Or piranha-tank aquariums in posh lounges inside semi trailers.
Wintergreen says, "Then your expectations were clearly inadequate."
Malkav shuts the movie off. "Still had 20+ minutes to go, can't stay up that late. But they'd just been given an invitation to the Grand Prix, so that seemed like a good break point."
Wintergreen says, "Speed almost wins, but monkey runs out to track on finish line. Swerves, crashes, asplosion. All limbs replaced by hooks. Terrorizes sorority house, chased down by mob in junkyard, smashed in car compactor. Or is he!"
Wintergreen says, "Sequel: Speed Racer 2: Panic at the Disco."
Wintergreen says, "Vietnam vet with artificial leg tortured by horrible dreams of disfigured ex-racecar driver. Discovers leg made from melted-down car and hooks of Speed. Tries to assuage by moving into a brothel, gratuitous sex and drugs ensue. Speed causes pimp's snazzy motorcycle to crash into a muscle car, possesses wreckage, kills hookers one by one. Young hooker with a heart of gold and vietnam vet join forces, fight Speed, climactic drag race, Speed goes over retaining wall into concrete pour for highway cloverleaf, vanishes in."
Wintergreen says, "Speed 3: Road Rash Nuclear Pizza. Post-apocalyptic. Biker gang hybridized with monkey chromosome controls last stretch of unbroken freeway, which could be an artery for trade that would rebuild the world. Outcast scientist and his hard-boiled girlfriend form alliance with Speed's ghost to defeat."
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
How is that movie? I heard it's a bit like downing several red bulls and a tab of acid then fingerpainting.