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maleficentmoi

Roseville, CA

Member Since 2003

Followers 27 Following 97

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Saturday Apr 12, 2008

Apr 12, 2008
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1) A turn signal is a fairer indicator of a driver's ignorance of their surroundings than an announcement of their intentions.

2) Cell phone use in moving vehicles is the new bitches putting make-up on while looking at their reflections in the mirror while driving twenty over the speed limit. This new malady inflicts both genders.

3) Pedestrians who ignore traffic signals should be fair game in vehicular homicide.

4) There are honest mistakes and there are acts against humanity. These acts include gunning it through a red light, stopping on the freeway for no good reason except your own, driving slower than a toddler on a tricycle, or riding up on a car's bumper because you're to fucking impatient to drive safely.

5) Fog is scary. Be afraid of fog.

6) Hell, rain is, too. Not like fog, though.

7) Driving is the process of constantly breaking hearts; of changing allegiances and friendships in a second's span; of risking life, limb, and finances on the benefit of mere seconds.

8) Good, reliable eighteen-wheeler drivers are few and far between. They must all be dead. Or retired. Or CEO's.

9) Run over animals, regardless of their cuteness. Kill them dead. Don't spare them a moment's thought or concern. Fuck them. Squish them and be sorry about it later. I've heard of drivers veering into crowds of pedestrians because they didn't want to hit a dog. This is the same kind of fucked up principal that enables animals to live like kings while people starve in the streets. True, there's culpability, but animals are merely that: animals. Run them down.

10) Yes, I do own the fucking road. And, if you'll follow me, you'll get there faster and more efficiently. No joke...

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