9:00 a.m.- Wake up. Eat four slices of toast smothered in butter and covered in sugar. Down a large glass of milk to try and make myself feel better about eating what essentially amounts to sugar bread for breakfast.
9-10:00 a.m.- Watch two episodes of "The Simpsons", season 8 DVD. They're funny, but old. Seen them a million times. Still, had to run off and buy the damn thing, didn't you?
10:00 a.m.- Consider showering. Instead, sweep floors and do the cat box.
10:30 a.m.- Play "Outlaw Golf 2"; addiction continues.
11:00 a.m. Consider showering; make bed instead. Play more golf. The video game type. Also, log online for the first time.
12:00 p.m.- Go to Target to buy "Silent Hill". While there, see an old man carrying around the same DVD along with "Zorro" on DVD. Can't help but smile. Also, buy new toothbrush. Consider it indulging somehow. Go to Safeway and buy the following items: cat food ($6), frozen fruit juice ($1.25), two cans of soup ($2.75/buy one get one free), big box of cereal ($2.50), and a liter of peppermint ice cream, light ($3.00). A bachelor life I seem to have adopted, I have. Clerk is middle eastern. Can't help but stay focused on him. Am I becoming a bigot? Or, practical?
12:30 p.m.- Walk to downtown post office. Pick up a package containing a birthday gift for Shannon. Not sure if she reads my blogs anymore, so I better not elaborate. Well, fuck it. I hope she still likes Elmo. Anyway, go to library to see if any audio books are worth checking out. Nope. Go to Subway and stand with the lunch crowd in a sweltering heat; the air conditioner is out. It's cooler outside! Watch sandwich makers intensely for any sweat hitting my foot-long sandwich. None falls. Walk home, admiring all the pretty women. Horny as hell already. Stop at Lee's Hardware for a Sobe. Come home and stand around, lost.
1:00 p.m.- Consider showering. Instead, have lunch and begin watching "Silent Hill". Stop when the mom's driving to the town. Consider showering again. Instead, write a little bit for my crummy screenplay. Give up quickly.
1:30-2:30 p.m.- Waste time online. Check e-mails, bank account, and Myspace. Nothing interesting. Zero-and-one social life completely dead. Consider why exactly I bother? Go to Suicide Girls and comment on some of the girls' blogs. Maybe some will roll around my way. Why do I care? I'm fucking lonely, ass-hat!
2:30 p.m.- Play... you guessed it, "Outlaw Golf 2".
3:00 p.m.- Marvel at how slow the fucking clock is. Start working on photo album. Locate old photos of me in Seattle and Shannon and I at Marine World. Rearrange photos.
3:15 p.m.- Shannon calls! Brief but fun.
3:30 p.m.- Go through closet, looking for a frame to hang lovely classic magazine showcasing Meg Myles. Find old 35mm camera. It works! Didn't before; that's why it was boxed up. Find old slides from film school assignments. Get nostalgic. Find frame for Meg. Put all the shit back and frame Meg and hang her next to David Bowie.
4:00 p.m.- Consider showering. Play "Outlaw Golf 2" instead. Put up clean dishes and think about dinner: soup from a can. Hello bachelorhood!
4:30 p.m.- Take a shit. Read "Books of Magic". Is it really only 4:30?
5:00 p.m.- Prepare soup. Have some corn chips with it and a glass of juice. Watch more "Silent Hill", up until the mom wakes up to Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".
5:30 p.m.-7:00 p.m.- Can't remember what happened. Could hazard a guess... Oh, wait! Assemble a Scarlett Johannsen collage to take advantage of a found picture frame. Nice breasts, Scarlett. Bet she never heard that before. Ponder where to set the frame. Settle on the bookcase under the window. Not that great of a collage, anyway.
7:00 p.m.- Shannon calls to say goodnight. Says she's going to have pizza with her parents and watch two movies. Says she found a big ass spider in her room, but has it blocked in the wall. Feel scared; dread fills my heart. Stupid spider!
7:30 p.m.- Golf again.
8:00 p.m.- Watch more "Silent Hill". Stop when they leave the school. Why the hell did Sam Bean do this fucking movie?
8:30 p.m.- Have ice cream. Certainly earned it!
9:00 p.m.- Rearrange coffee table. No, really...
9:30 p.m.- 10:30 p.m.- Log online and write this shit while also scanning eBay for old 1960 Playboys. Send several inquires to prospective sellers regarding intact centerfolds. Realize I'll probably neglect to actually bid on the damn things anyway. Exchange a few e-mails with Zach, a living, breathing human being. Happy Tuesday, Zach! Sucker... Listen to albums on my computer. Namely, Massive Attack's "100th Window" and Ladytron's "Witching Hour". Great stuff. Wonder if it hurts to be that creative? I wouldn't know...
10:37 p.m.- Consider showering...
9-10:00 a.m.- Watch two episodes of "The Simpsons", season 8 DVD. They're funny, but old. Seen them a million times. Still, had to run off and buy the damn thing, didn't you?
10:00 a.m.- Consider showering. Instead, sweep floors and do the cat box.
10:30 a.m.- Play "Outlaw Golf 2"; addiction continues.
11:00 a.m. Consider showering; make bed instead. Play more golf. The video game type. Also, log online for the first time.
12:00 p.m.- Go to Target to buy "Silent Hill". While there, see an old man carrying around the same DVD along with "Zorro" on DVD. Can't help but smile. Also, buy new toothbrush. Consider it indulging somehow. Go to Safeway and buy the following items: cat food ($6), frozen fruit juice ($1.25), two cans of soup ($2.75/buy one get one free), big box of cereal ($2.50), and a liter of peppermint ice cream, light ($3.00). A bachelor life I seem to have adopted, I have. Clerk is middle eastern. Can't help but stay focused on him. Am I becoming a bigot? Or, practical?
12:30 p.m.- Walk to downtown post office. Pick up a package containing a birthday gift for Shannon. Not sure if she reads my blogs anymore, so I better not elaborate. Well, fuck it. I hope she still likes Elmo. Anyway, go to library to see if any audio books are worth checking out. Nope. Go to Subway and stand with the lunch crowd in a sweltering heat; the air conditioner is out. It's cooler outside! Watch sandwich makers intensely for any sweat hitting my foot-long sandwich. None falls. Walk home, admiring all the pretty women. Horny as hell already. Stop at Lee's Hardware for a Sobe. Come home and stand around, lost.
1:00 p.m.- Consider showering. Instead, have lunch and begin watching "Silent Hill". Stop when the mom's driving to the town. Consider showering again. Instead, write a little bit for my crummy screenplay. Give up quickly.
1:30-2:30 p.m.- Waste time online. Check e-mails, bank account, and Myspace. Nothing interesting. Zero-and-one social life completely dead. Consider why exactly I bother? Go to Suicide Girls and comment on some of the girls' blogs. Maybe some will roll around my way. Why do I care? I'm fucking lonely, ass-hat!
2:30 p.m.- Play... you guessed it, "Outlaw Golf 2".
3:00 p.m.- Marvel at how slow the fucking clock is. Start working on photo album. Locate old photos of me in Seattle and Shannon and I at Marine World. Rearrange photos.
3:15 p.m.- Shannon calls! Brief but fun.
3:30 p.m.- Go through closet, looking for a frame to hang lovely classic magazine showcasing Meg Myles. Find old 35mm camera. It works! Didn't before; that's why it was boxed up. Find old slides from film school assignments. Get nostalgic. Find frame for Meg. Put all the shit back and frame Meg and hang her next to David Bowie.
4:00 p.m.- Consider showering. Play "Outlaw Golf 2" instead. Put up clean dishes and think about dinner: soup from a can. Hello bachelorhood!
4:30 p.m.- Take a shit. Read "Books of Magic". Is it really only 4:30?
5:00 p.m.- Prepare soup. Have some corn chips with it and a glass of juice. Watch more "Silent Hill", up until the mom wakes up to Johnny Cash's "Ring of Fire".
5:30 p.m.-7:00 p.m.- Can't remember what happened. Could hazard a guess... Oh, wait! Assemble a Scarlett Johannsen collage to take advantage of a found picture frame. Nice breasts, Scarlett. Bet she never heard that before. Ponder where to set the frame. Settle on the bookcase under the window. Not that great of a collage, anyway.
7:00 p.m.- Shannon calls to say goodnight. Says she's going to have pizza with her parents and watch two movies. Says she found a big ass spider in her room, but has it blocked in the wall. Feel scared; dread fills my heart. Stupid spider!
7:30 p.m.- Golf again.
8:00 p.m.- Watch more "Silent Hill". Stop when they leave the school. Why the hell did Sam Bean do this fucking movie?
8:30 p.m.- Have ice cream. Certainly earned it!
9:00 p.m.- Rearrange coffee table. No, really...
9:30 p.m.- 10:30 p.m.- Log online and write this shit while also scanning eBay for old 1960 Playboys. Send several inquires to prospective sellers regarding intact centerfolds. Realize I'll probably neglect to actually bid on the damn things anyway. Exchange a few e-mails with Zach, a living, breathing human being. Happy Tuesday, Zach! Sucker... Listen to albums on my computer. Namely, Massive Attack's "100th Window" and Ladytron's "Witching Hour". Great stuff. Wonder if it hurts to be that creative? I wouldn't know...
10:37 p.m.- Consider showering...