So far I have not been kicked to the wind. So far... I feel like I'm sitting around waiting with baited breath. Waiting for the hammer to fall. If it falls at all. It's a bummer, man. Believe little ol' me.
Well, I fucked up. I've never done that before, fucking things up. The question now is how badly is it fucked. From my two inches off the ground perspective, I'm going to say really, really fucked. Such is the way of a fucktard. Au revoir.
I admit it. I'm not very good at relationships, man. I'm not the abusive kind. Nor the neglectful kind. I'm the kind that needs encouragement. Not constant encouragement, no. Just, like, something here or there. My ex-wife is to blame for this. I got my heart absolutely trounced, shit,spit, and lit on by a heartless woman and the man I am now pays for it....
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Masturbation is a piss poor substitute. But, when you've wandered in the desert of single life as much as I have, masturbation can be like curling up in your favorite blanket during a cold winter's night. So what if she's 2,407 miles away visiting friends. I got my blanket...
I'm not ashamed to admit this: I am addicted to her vagina. Bliss for me is between her creamy white thighs. This has never happened to me before. Is it witchcraft? Or, like, some sort of cream? Or lotion? Better to ponder the infinite vastness of the cosmos, I think. Just dig in, man. Dig. The. Fuck. In.
The menstrual cycle is an interesting thing. It makes a healthy woman's sexual appetite ramp up in, like, the bookends of the cycle. But, in the middle it's all blood, man. Moral: Don't fear the blood.
thunderr:
JAJAJA
When you receive a key to a woman's heart-- I mean condo, that means you're in like sin, right? I must resist the urge to rearrange her furniture...
usagimomo:
Why don't you do a weekly Day of Rearranging? For a woman is easier with a strong man... :)
I'm not good in relationships sometimes. It's like I don't think I deserve happiness. It's stupid. This is too heartfelt. I do not approve. Fuck it.
I love being in a relationship again. The insecurity. The doubt. The confusion. The vast emptiness when we're apart. The oodles and oodles of orgasms. I love that word: oodles.
I'm ready for my bionic kidney now. I don't care if it makes some creepy clicking sound. Honest.
I love my car. In fact, I love my car so much that I am killing it, squeezing the joy of life from it. Kinda like my lost marriage. Bummer, that.