the only word that can describe how im feeling is low.
Everyone keeps pointing out that ive gained weight, trust me i know. i dont need to be constantly reminded by everyone else. i can tell by the fact that NONE of my clothes fit me. I hate the way i look naked. just when i start to think that maybe its not as bad as i think someone comes along and reminds me they can i tell i put on weight.
this doesn't help me in the fact that debt collectors keep calling me, yea thanks mom and my ex for maxing out my credit cards. i actually stayed on top of paying the bills, i didn't put too much on it. but somehow they're max out. and because i only make minimum wage and can only work certain hours cause of school i don't make that much money. barely 75 dollars a week. i cant pay those bills, eat lunch, take public transportation to school, and just not be broke.
All this and midterms, for general education requirements. im not doing anything that i remotely want to do for my major. i dont even know if this is what i want to do for my major. i dont know what i want to do with my life.
and just when i think i have a little glimmer of happiness in all this stupidity, the person im starting to really like and care about and have feelings for pulls away from me. i should expect it, but it hurts. we slept together way to soon, and i got too emotionally involved like always.
I wish i knew who i truly was.
My mom is always crying and having breakdowns too. its hard to be strong when everything around you is crumbling.
Everyone keeps pointing out that ive gained weight, trust me i know. i dont need to be constantly reminded by everyone else. i can tell by the fact that NONE of my clothes fit me. I hate the way i look naked. just when i start to think that maybe its not as bad as i think someone comes along and reminds me they can i tell i put on weight.
this doesn't help me in the fact that debt collectors keep calling me, yea thanks mom and my ex for maxing out my credit cards. i actually stayed on top of paying the bills, i didn't put too much on it. but somehow they're max out. and because i only make minimum wage and can only work certain hours cause of school i don't make that much money. barely 75 dollars a week. i cant pay those bills, eat lunch, take public transportation to school, and just not be broke.
All this and midterms, for general education requirements. im not doing anything that i remotely want to do for my major. i dont even know if this is what i want to do for my major. i dont know what i want to do with my life.
and just when i think i have a little glimmer of happiness in all this stupidity, the person im starting to really like and care about and have feelings for pulls away from me. i should expect it, but it hurts. we slept together way to soon, and i got too emotionally involved like always.
I wish i knew who i truly was.
My mom is always crying and having breakdowns too. its hard to be strong when everything around you is crumbling.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
I still fucking miss you so much. I wish you were here.