makebelieve

So feeling like no one loves me that all males just use me then lose me...I get a phone call from my one great love Andy last night.

The relationship ended a year ago. I fucked it up. I cheated with stupid Chris and fucked up the relationship with the guy I was in love with for 6 years. Granted, it was probably for the best, but I fucked it up. Knowing I hurt him is the worst feeling in the world. And each and every time I talk to him, he tells me he loves me. Even now. A year later. And it breaks my fucking heart. I miss him. He wasn't perfect. Neither am I.

He was trashed. Of course. He was a groomsman in his friends wedding. I assume that is why he thought of me, since during our relationship all of my friends got married and he was forced to attend numerous weddings. Plus his girlfriend was not with him. He's had two since we broke up. Among the other girls he has no doubt hooked up with.

Foolishly, Chris was the only one I was with since him. The short conversation we had last night has been replaying in my head all day long. All the things I wish I could have said, but didn't. Never did.

Maybe someday. I'll tell him how I feel.