to YOU!
This is exactly what I have to say to you. It's long. It's probably redundant. But you're a stupid male, and sometimes we have to repeat ourselves to be heard.
FIRST of all, I do NOT want a relationship with you. I would NEVER want to be your girlfriend. Not only because I cannot trust you, but because you don't want the same things I do. I want to get married eventually and have kids. You don't. Perhaps someday that may change for you, but I'm not waiting around for that. And I would never try to change you either. So get that out of your head!! And out of other peoples heads! Yes, I get upset when you don't answer my calls or call me back, simply because I KNOW you are ignoring me! Not because I need to know what you are doing, who you're with, that isn't my business, other than if I'm supposed to be your best friend, you would think it would be cool to share that information. But you don't have to. I just KNOW you're ignoring me, and that is what pisses me off the most. There is no reason to ignore me. If you actually did care about me like you say you do, pick up the goddamn phone and say hello. It's simple really. Because when you don't, I think you're doing something you want to hide from me, and what did I tell you? Don't keep shit from me, don't lie to me, and you might get my trust back! But that is gone now.
You don't want people to know about your "relationship" with me. No, not using the word relationship as a description for an intimate committed couple. But whatever goes beyond friendship, must be a secret? If you have a problem with me leaving comments on someone's myspace, YOU tell me. Don't have your psychotic ex telling me this shit. I don't need to hear it from her. I don't need to hear ANYTHING from her. As a matter of fact, you fucking tell her ass to stop contacting me at all. She should have nothing to do with me, or you. I don't understand why you would ever want her back in your life. You talk shit about her on a daily basis, you can't stand her, you know how manipulative and crazy she is, and you know how she has fucked with me and you and your family and your friends, why would you want to associate with her? I still can't fathom how you dated her for so long. I guess cuz you were deployed? I don't know. Either way. It's fucked up.
Don't lie to me!! I don't need it, I don't want it. There is no reason to. I'm NOT your girlfriend. I never want to be. EVER. I love you, I'm not IN love with you. I don't want a relationship. Angela can talk shit all she wants about how she got a relationship and I didn't. I'm not waiting around for one! I don't want to be ANYONES girlfriend, especially yours! I know you think everyone is in love with you and wants to settle down with you, nope. Just your ex, who happens to be dating your roommate. I can tell by the 6 hours of straight text messaging from her about you that she is back to who she was when she was obsessed with you. Great job! I think you love this shit. You love girls fighting over you. Well I'm not fighting for you. That's ridiculous. I've given you about 93848493 chances. Why do I keep doing it? Why do I believe that you will eventually grow a pair and be a man? Ha! I don't know. Guess I always saw the potential. Hell, I saw it in Andy, and once I let him go, he came back. So should I let you go? Shit. I dunno. It would suck not talking to you. Not gonna lie. Oh, cuz I don't lie, that's you! And your crazy ex. But I'll tell you this much. If you are going to be friends with that fake ass bitch, I can't be your friend. She's in love with you, she gets fucking psycho as hell and starts hacking my email and shit, hell she already stalks me enough when she's "not" in love with you. I can't take that high school drama anymore, I'm 25 and I have bigger issues. So if you want to be buddy buddy with her, I'm done. It's your funeral. Good luck with that shit. Boy you'll regret it as much as you regret being with her in the first place!
How could I want a relationship with someone whose family hates me? With someone who won't stand UP to his family for his "best friend"? Who won't tell his roommates he's driving out to see me for the weekend, because he "doesn't trust them". Who feels the need to ignore my phone calls? I love you to death. I have so much fun with you, talking to you, whatever. But as far as committing to you? Fuck that. I'm not in a place where I'm ready to commit to anyone, and I'm not just saying that to make you happy. It's the God honest truth. I'm just trying to have fun. Someday, I will get married, have kids, career, two cats in the yard...but not yet, I have been recycling guys for 9 years. Pathetic! But at least I'm not crazy obsessed with you like Angela is.
I'm just tired of losing friends. And I hate to give up on anyone. But I'm done with the bullshit. I'm done with Angela, she will NOT have contact with me. She can threaten me all she wants. But I'm praying to GOD she gets hers. And like I said. If you're going to be friends with her, I can't talk to you anymore. And I don't want to do that, because I know thats EXACTLY what she wants. So I'm letting you, and EVERYONE on my fuckin myspace, suicidegirls, and facebook I think, know that I'm letting you go because I want to, not because I'm giving up on you. I just don't need the bullshit, and one day you will probably realize how fucking stupid that girl is (well, you already say you do but actions speak louder and such) and you'll call me up and say "Amy, I'm sorry, I kick myself every day...blah blah blah" just like you tell every other girl whose heart you've broken.
So that's it my friend! At least for now! Oh wait...the text to Dan? Really had nothing to do with you. I wasn't going to send him a text saying I didn't trust his girlfriend, so I flipped it. Cuz I knew he was worried about that shit too. I didn't trust her. I knew she was going to try something. I didn't know you guys were BFF now, and that you'd even hear about it. I just thought it would fuck with her world a little, the way they did with mine. So now you know.
You have permission to speak now.
This is exactly what I have to say to you. It's long. It's probably redundant. But you're a stupid male, and sometimes we have to repeat ourselves to be heard.
FIRST of all, I do NOT want a relationship with you. I would NEVER want to be your girlfriend. Not only because I cannot trust you, but because you don't want the same things I do. I want to get married eventually and have kids. You don't. Perhaps someday that may change for you, but I'm not waiting around for that. And I would never try to change you either. So get that out of your head!! And out of other peoples heads! Yes, I get upset when you don't answer my calls or call me back, simply because I KNOW you are ignoring me! Not because I need to know what you are doing, who you're with, that isn't my business, other than if I'm supposed to be your best friend, you would think it would be cool to share that information. But you don't have to. I just KNOW you're ignoring me, and that is what pisses me off the most. There is no reason to ignore me. If you actually did care about me like you say you do, pick up the goddamn phone and say hello. It's simple really. Because when you don't, I think you're doing something you want to hide from me, and what did I tell you? Don't keep shit from me, don't lie to me, and you might get my trust back! But that is gone now.
You don't want people to know about your "relationship" with me. No, not using the word relationship as a description for an intimate committed couple. But whatever goes beyond friendship, must be a secret? If you have a problem with me leaving comments on someone's myspace, YOU tell me. Don't have your psychotic ex telling me this shit. I don't need to hear it from her. I don't need to hear ANYTHING from her. As a matter of fact, you fucking tell her ass to stop contacting me at all. She should have nothing to do with me, or you. I don't understand why you would ever want her back in your life. You talk shit about her on a daily basis, you can't stand her, you know how manipulative and crazy she is, and you know how she has fucked with me and you and your family and your friends, why would you want to associate with her? I still can't fathom how you dated her for so long. I guess cuz you were deployed? I don't know. Either way. It's fucked up.
Don't lie to me!! I don't need it, I don't want it. There is no reason to. I'm NOT your girlfriend. I never want to be. EVER. I love you, I'm not IN love with you. I don't want a relationship. Angela can talk shit all she wants about how she got a relationship and I didn't. I'm not waiting around for one! I don't want to be ANYONES girlfriend, especially yours! I know you think everyone is in love with you and wants to settle down with you, nope. Just your ex, who happens to be dating your roommate. I can tell by the 6 hours of straight text messaging from her about you that she is back to who she was when she was obsessed with you. Great job! I think you love this shit. You love girls fighting over you. Well I'm not fighting for you. That's ridiculous. I've given you about 93848493 chances. Why do I keep doing it? Why do I believe that you will eventually grow a pair and be a man? Ha! I don't know. Guess I always saw the potential. Hell, I saw it in Andy, and once I let him go, he came back. So should I let you go? Shit. I dunno. It would suck not talking to you. Not gonna lie. Oh, cuz I don't lie, that's you! And your crazy ex. But I'll tell you this much. If you are going to be friends with that fake ass bitch, I can't be your friend. She's in love with you, she gets fucking psycho as hell and starts hacking my email and shit, hell she already stalks me enough when she's "not" in love with you. I can't take that high school drama anymore, I'm 25 and I have bigger issues. So if you want to be buddy buddy with her, I'm done. It's your funeral. Good luck with that shit. Boy you'll regret it as much as you regret being with her in the first place!
How could I want a relationship with someone whose family hates me? With someone who won't stand UP to his family for his "best friend"? Who won't tell his roommates he's driving out to see me for the weekend, because he "doesn't trust them". Who feels the need to ignore my phone calls? I love you to death. I have so much fun with you, talking to you, whatever. But as far as committing to you? Fuck that. I'm not in a place where I'm ready to commit to anyone, and I'm not just saying that to make you happy. It's the God honest truth. I'm just trying to have fun. Someday, I will get married, have kids, career, two cats in the yard...but not yet, I have been recycling guys for 9 years. Pathetic! But at least I'm not crazy obsessed with you like Angela is.
I'm just tired of losing friends. And I hate to give up on anyone. But I'm done with the bullshit. I'm done with Angela, she will NOT have contact with me. She can threaten me all she wants. But I'm praying to GOD she gets hers. And like I said. If you're going to be friends with her, I can't talk to you anymore. And I don't want to do that, because I know thats EXACTLY what she wants. So I'm letting you, and EVERYONE on my fuckin myspace, suicidegirls, and facebook I think, know that I'm letting you go because I want to, not because I'm giving up on you. I just don't need the bullshit, and one day you will probably realize how fucking stupid that girl is (well, you already say you do but actions speak louder and such) and you'll call me up and say "Amy, I'm sorry, I kick myself every day...blah blah blah" just like you tell every other girl whose heart you've broken.
So that's it my friend! At least for now! Oh wait...the text to Dan? Really had nothing to do with you. I wasn't going to send him a text saying I didn't trust his girlfriend, so I flipped it. Cuz I knew he was worried about that shit too. I didn't trust her. I knew she was going to try something. I didn't know you guys were BFF now, and that you'd even hear about it. I just thought it would fuck with her world a little, the way they did with mine. So now you know.
You have permission to speak now.
VIEW 3 of 3 COMMENTS
If she's physical, I would also recommend carrying pepper spray. My friend's ex physically confronted me a few times, and thank god I never had to mace her b/c other people intervined, but just a thought.
I'm sorry for you hon. This is a shitty situation. It took me and my friend about 2 years to be good friends again, with trust and all (and no psycho ex) but it can happen.
Hugs from Cali. and I don't have the ignorance to say "I know what you're going through" because every situation is different, but if you want to talk, I do understand a bit in my own way.
Take care darling. and good luck. You'll need it.