makebelieve

Wow, I was in a really good mood today!! Considering all the shit I found out this week, I think I'm more relieved than anything. I actually just ate something, I'm not so nauseated anymore. Work was awesome, it was my first day all by myself on the rack, on a truck day anyway. And my boss said I did a great job! I felt like I was on top of things, I was in such a good mood though! So weird. I didn't sleep at all last night, I was on the phone with a friend and she made me laugh so hard and feel so much better about everything. I still feel a little disgusted, little dirty. But I'm better off. It sucks when your trust is violated. So I was manipulated. The worst part of the whole thing is the trust, and knowing everything I know now, it just makes me angry. Not hurt. Disgusted. Dirty. Should probably get myself tested. Ughhhhh. Anyway. I learned a lot in the past couple days. And I've never laughed so hard as I did last night!!! I laughed all day too just thinking about it. Everyone noticed how good a mood I was in. I guess I've been grumpy for awhile, but now everything is clear. I don't even miss him. I don't know who he really is. Or was. Whatever. I'm ready for the one! Or, the one for now. Hell, I don't care. I just know there are others who are interested, and will probably not feed me line upon line of bullshit and lies. haha. funny times.