maitressedemence

well i was sick today.. it was really wierd though.. felt kinda like the flu, but not exactly.. my body hurt all over... like i got beat up or something... it's weird.. but enough about that...

I'm worried about starting my new job, cause I have to be there at 8am, and i've never been good at getting up in the morning... getting up at noon is hard for me.

so, the last relationship that i had, i was in love with him, but he wasn't in love with me... this was over a year ago.. but ever since then, i've been afraid to let myself show emotion or get attached to anyone new... i'm afraid the same thing will happen again... but i do have very strong feelings for the guy i'm seeing... i'm just afraid to let them show too much.

Have you ever wanted so much that it overwhelms you? i can't really explain it, but i'm almost 27 years old, and everything that i've wanted out of life, i want right now.. i have no patience.. i want to be married and have babies, and have a great job, and a nice house, and a cool car and lots of friends, and i just don't seem to have the patience to wait for it all, i feel like i've been waiting a lifetime already... it's depressing me.. i'm just trying to hang in there. At least i'm off to the right start as far as career goes... i'm starting a new, full time job in the medical field in two weeks... i'm scared, but hopefully i'll like it.
i'm just rambling, ugh, i always get depressed when i'm sick.. hopefully i'll feel better tomorrow



so i was browsing thru journals of people in the same area as me.. and half of them have not written journal entries... i don't understand why people would join the site then not talk to anyone? i dont' know..