Hi everybody,
I tried to write something in english this time, I'm very sorry if you can hardly read it, I'm not that good in english but I wanted to try, beacause I like writing. I hope it won't be that bad.
Feeling them around.
I'm floating in the water. I'm drowning in the water. I can hardly breath now.
It feels good.
Feeling them around.
Warm water. Red water. Red from my hair. Or maybe it's from my arms ? My legs ? I don't know. I entirely look red. As far as I know, it could be from my eyes. From them.
« Do you feel like drowning ? »
Nodding.
– I already told you so.
« I just don't feel you're totaly into it. I mean, you're still fighting. You're breathing... »
-Hardly.
« You're talking. »
I think. I need to clear that. I feel it, deeply. Somehow, I notice the water is less red. More purple.
-My hair.
I decide.
I feel him node. And laugh.
-What's your point ? Do you think I should drown ?
There's a path, here. A path to where ? Surface ? Awakeness ?
–I don't care. It's a path anyway.
« You have to find the answer yourself »
My heart beats faster. Looking for oxygene. I hold my breath, put my head entirely down the water. Down the purple water. Into the warmth. Into their warmth. I've always heard my own noises better under water.
Opening my eyes. My eight eyes.
-I do have to drown. You are under.
Completely quiting swimming, I let my breathless body drone me far under the liquid. Which is darker and darker.
Their voices are so loud now I can't even heard what they say. Their image are so strong I can't distinguish them. I feel them inside me. I welcome them.
Smiling.
Dying.
My head punctures the surface. Out of breath. My heart beating hard.
Alive.
My hands encounter my body, looking. For me. For them. Scratching. Fighting.
When the skin goes red and the blood is about to come, I suddenly stop. Thinking. Sometimes, things standing at two opposite sides eventualy link. That's not a line. That's a circle.
-I'm alive. Because I drowned.
I feel his smiling.
« You drowned yourself to the surface. »