Holy fucking crap! I thought I just entered another universe but already I've entered a whole new fucking universe!
I just had a panic attack. Not because of any bad shit about to happen but because I realized I have it so good that it had me shaking in my fucking boots that it is all a lie.
I tried to contact sweetavenue cuz she is a very positive influence in my life right now. God bless her.
But she was not immediately available. 
Finally after growing a walnut tree between my legs, if Idon't mind saying so myself, I called C. and J. the couple that seduced us (exwife and i back last Fall) into the idea of the lifestyle, but whom only my exwife actually participated with. So "Bitter Moon", but anyway..
I figured they have an awesome positive attitude in order to survive this long. And they were always welcoming to me..it was just me..it was just me....it was just me ...
The monster within me that devoured my marriage, self-esteem, and sanity was GUILT! guilt ate me whole! Not some other shit I was selling myself
I knew this fiend was following me around my whole life. I knew it was there. I think I know when it was born and it was often well fed! I was trying to shake it off me. Trying to fight it off by being good, good enough to please it once and for all.
IT IS NEVER SATISFIED!
I fed this monster soooo much....sooo soooo much! I fed it when my mother left long ago...I fed it when I became a Hare Krishna....I fed it when not one but two people seemed to have committed suicide because of how I had disappointed them..and for things...I had not done through out my life...probably because I didn't feel I deserved to do them...and I felt guilty for the things I didn't do because I felt guilty...and of course I fed it with divorce papers too.
This bloated motherfucker of a thankless demon....posed as an angel of righteousness has had its last fucking meal as far as I'm concerned!
It is fucking finished!!!
Slumberjack is chopping that fucking shit down at long last!!!!!
I just had a panic attack. Not because of any bad shit about to happen but because I realized I have it so good that it had me shaking in my fucking boots that it is all a lie.
I tried to contact sweetavenue cuz she is a very positive influence in my life right now. God bless her.
But she was not immediately available.
Finally after growing a walnut tree between my legs, if Idon't mind saying so myself, I called C. and J. the couple that seduced us (exwife and i back last Fall) into the idea of the lifestyle, but whom only my exwife actually participated with. So "Bitter Moon", but anyway..
I figured they have an awesome positive attitude in order to survive this long. And they were always welcoming to me..it was just me..it was just me....it was just me ...
The monster within me that devoured my marriage, self-esteem, and sanity was GUILT! guilt ate me whole! Not some other shit I was selling myself
I knew this fiend was following me around my whole life. I knew it was there. I think I know when it was born and it was often well fed! I was trying to shake it off me. Trying to fight it off by being good, good enough to please it once and for all.
IT IS NEVER SATISFIED!
I fed this monster soooo much....sooo soooo much! I fed it when my mother left long ago...I fed it when I became a Hare Krishna....I fed it when not one but two people seemed to have committed suicide because of how I had disappointed them..and for things...I had not done through out my life...probably because I didn't feel I deserved to do them...and I felt guilty for the things I didn't do because I felt guilty...and of course I fed it with divorce papers too.
This bloated motherfucker of a thankless demon....posed as an angel of righteousness has had its last fucking meal as far as I'm concerned!
It is fucking finished!!!
Slumberjack is chopping that fucking shit down at long last!!!!!
VIEW 16 of 16 COMMENTS
maxi:
lol, she will be delivered by bike messenger.
maxi:
lol, she will be delivered by bike messenger.