maggiezee

so it's all coming apart.

nothing works out like you want, sometimes for good other times not. this weekend was pretty outstanding. we didn't exactly go camping, but we hiked around a mountain all day yesterday. i still feel high. i don't even know how much we smoked.

then i cam home to news that ripped my world apart. no one had died or something that would seriously alter my life, but almost.

and i thought i had it figured out.

..... [ but i don't. no one does. no one ever will ] .....

i sent in a secret to postsecret last week.

now, because if what's happened since, i wish i hadn't.

it doesn't change the secret, but it seems almost inappropriate now. or maybe it's empowering. or maybe it's taunting.

i don't want you to think i'm saying i'm stronger than you or going through as much as you are. i love you, and i know you'll probably never read this and probably don't read postsecret, but i had to put it somewhere because my secret might end up somewhere if it ends up on the site next week or the one after that or whenever. or maybe it won't get posted at all, like the other secrets i've sent in. who knows. just know i love you and am praying relentlessly for your recovery.