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maggiezee

i'm not sure anymore.

Member Since 2006

Followers 156 Following 146

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Friday Nov 30, 2007

Nov 30, 2007
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you've gotta believe me. i love my cat more than my own life. he's the shade of my heart, my pride and joy. my furry child.

but the feeling of him rubbing up on my legs right after i get out of the shower is the most terrible feeling in the world. ::shudders::
--
so, i've come to the conclusion i'm not only a jinx for cops, but i'm also cursed with car wrecks. i've been driving and involved in five, a passenger and involved in three that i can recall but i'm thinking there's another that's slipped my mind. that's how i started today. chilling as my grandmother drove me home from a hard night of drinking [she's amazing, i know] and laughing, and some idiot nails us at a red light. blood and ashes, even when i rear ended people because i wasn't paying attention i never hit that hard. i'm tired of cars. i wanna ride my bicycle everywhere. speaking of which, i may tomorrow.
--
i'm still getting used to being single. i've been sick and busy so it's been a little difficult to go buck wild, but i'm gonna try this week. wish me luck?
--
i can't wait until i get my laptop for school. for once, real privacy. like, i can have real porn on my computer. and not worry anyone's gonna find it. outstanding.

--

i know it's normal to miss him, but should i miss him more? should i have cried by now? maybe it hasn't sunk in, but i'm actually pretty okay. i haven't actually seen him since, though. maybe that would make it worse. or fuck, make it better. i need to get some stuff from him. eww - how cliche - the returning of personal effects. i might as well give back the jewelry he gave me and make myself a bitch for certain. whatever, he called me a bitch [not while in a rage or anything mind you but in a general sort of way] so he'll get one. why change my bitchy demeanor to spare his feelings once he pushed me to my dumping point?

i mean, the way i see it, i should be happy i'm out of jail and not thinking about the friends in there i'll miss. it's a metaphor, people. i wasn't actually ever in jail. well, long enough to make friends anyway. ; )

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