It's been awhile since I've been on here, life made me stray, among other things, but eventually I found my way back, with a new perspective, it's been about a year, I believe. What brought me back wasn't anything other than friendship, truth be told. I've had a lot of time to reflect on my current situation and my connections with others, and while I am rather happy to be doing things on my own, in my own little world, nostalgic parts of me crave what was.
I realize my life has become routine, I get up sometime in the afternoon, I check to make sure my husband is okay, ready for work, plan out the day ahead, do whatever I deem to be necessary that day, then slink away to my "escape" that is video games as the better part of night/morning I spend alone. To take up that time I do various things, but predominately, I play an MMO that you might be familiar with, World of Warcraft.
Yet, once on there I am saddled with nothing but stress and frustration. I'm the one of the top retribution paladins on my realm, number 14 in fact. I have ambition to play the game, to win, to get as far as I can. As a favor to some friends I became the GM in their absence, though, in the past few weeks, it's all fallen apart. People just want instant gratification, to feel better than others, constantly stroking their epeens to the disadvantage of everyone else trying to play the game. A game. Something you do to enjoy, to have fun, to escape reality.
This causes to me reflect, what the hell has happened to our society, are we not as intelligent individuals de-evolving emotionally? It's ironic that in Utopian ideal, it seems that in the future, our future, we as a people are passive and subservient. Yet, here we are, growing more hateful and rebellious, treating our fellow comrades like they aren't people, merely tools to further our own selfish gains, that in all actuality, are nothing. In the end it isn't real, it's simply a game, pixels coded together to create a time/money sink.
So I pause, thinking, is this all I'm worth, just another tool to be used for the gain of others? It's depressing. Perhaps I am over complicating things, but it makes me yearn for those days of freedom and heavy pot smoking. I had no worries in the world, I felt I was a part of something, that I had a positive effect on someone, even if it was just for a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to go to do something, anything with. I miss that. I miss being needed, staying up all night catching up, sharing secrets, loves, hopes, wants, and dreams of the future.
I wonder where I went wrong, to have seemingly lost all that, with everyone.
I realize my life has become routine, I get up sometime in the afternoon, I check to make sure my husband is okay, ready for work, plan out the day ahead, do whatever I deem to be necessary that day, then slink away to my "escape" that is video games as the better part of night/morning I spend alone. To take up that time I do various things, but predominately, I play an MMO that you might be familiar with, World of Warcraft.
Yet, once on there I am saddled with nothing but stress and frustration. I'm the one of the top retribution paladins on my realm, number 14 in fact. I have ambition to play the game, to win, to get as far as I can. As a favor to some friends I became the GM in their absence, though, in the past few weeks, it's all fallen apart. People just want instant gratification, to feel better than others, constantly stroking their epeens to the disadvantage of everyone else trying to play the game. A game. Something you do to enjoy, to have fun, to escape reality.
This causes to me reflect, what the hell has happened to our society, are we not as intelligent individuals de-evolving emotionally? It's ironic that in Utopian ideal, it seems that in the future, our future, we as a people are passive and subservient. Yet, here we are, growing more hateful and rebellious, treating our fellow comrades like they aren't people, merely tools to further our own selfish gains, that in all actuality, are nothing. In the end it isn't real, it's simply a game, pixels coded together to create a time/money sink.
So I pause, thinking, is this all I'm worth, just another tool to be used for the gain of others? It's depressing. Perhaps I am over complicating things, but it makes me yearn for those days of freedom and heavy pot smoking. I had no worries in the world, I felt I was a part of something, that I had a positive effect on someone, even if it was just for a shoulder to cry on, or a friend to go to do something, anything with. I miss that. I miss being needed, staying up all night catching up, sharing secrets, loves, hopes, wants, and dreams of the future.
I wonder where I went wrong, to have seemingly lost all that, with everyone.
tinkergaloot:
All very observent and too true. I used to play back in 08 and I didplay to escape reality and live i a fantasy wrld. But it did becoe to much for my single soul to handle. I can only live one life and I chose this one. There definatly were some other players that I enjoyed and others that I did not. As a society,who says we are supposed to evolve into a wiser, more compasionate species? I used to believe such things but as grow older and see the world for what it really is, I think the best we can hope for is that we do't completely implode.
maeni:
lol I can definitely agree with the not imploding part.