Humanity has faced many scourges throughout the centuries.
Plagues and epidemics have taken a heavy toll of lives over the years, the Black Death alone wiped out near half the population of Europe in the 14th Century.
Earthquakes have levelled cities and their inhabitants: In 115 AD and 526 AD in Antioch earthquakes devastated the ancient city and killed around 250,000 people each time. A massive quake in 1158 AD struck Syria, the cities of Shaizar, Apamea, Hama and Homs destroyed with only a handful of survivors left skulking in the rubble. In 1356 Basel was totally destroyed, as were castles, villages and other buildings for nearly 30 miles around the city.
Volcanic eruptions have also caused much loss, wiping out the Roman towns of Pompeii and Herculaneum in 79AD. Around 535 the gigantic eruption of Mt.Tuba, near Java, split the island asunder. The explosion was heard 1000 miles away in China and volcanic detritus was thrown in the air for many miles around. The eruption changed weather patterns across the planet, plague and famine followed causing devastation all over the globe. In Western Europe the remnants of Roman civilisation collapsed, paving the way for the rise of 'barbarian' kingdoms. In the Byzantine Empire, the historian John of Ephesus wrote, "There was a sign from the Sun, the like of which had never been seen or reported before. The Sun became dark and its darkness lasted for 18 months. Each day it shone for about four hours, and still this light was only a feeble shadow."
Malign beings also have tormented and assaulted humanity throughout its evolution: The Sidhe, Firbolgs, Fomorians, Tylwyth Teg, Ellylldan, Bendith Y Mamau, Fachan, Spriggans, Nuckelavee, Each Uisge, Glaistig, Svartalfr, Jotuns, Draugs, Utukku, Pazuzu, Nagas, Oni, Ushabtiu, Azathoth, Cthulhu, Shub-Niggurath, Tsathoggua and Yog-Sothoth and to this day gangs of drug-crazed Wombles still rampage through Southern England, beating up Car Insurance Salesmen with polo mallets and forcing them to wear hideous crochet bobble hats.
But far worse than any of these disasters or beings is the malevolent creature that has assailed humanity for decades without respite. An evil, crafty Wight that thrives on disorder: Nh'ar Sti Bhu Gher - The Eater of Socks.
This foul demon has been the bane of humanity with its evil ways. The Eater creeps stealthily into homes all over the globe and devours its victims, leaving only a single sock to lament the loss of its brethren in solitary terror. The Eater has claimed countless victims in its long reign with the aid of its enslaved washing machine minions.
The worst recorded incident was Mr Alfred Tucker of Arnos Grove who, after 57 years of torment, took his own life in 1962 leaving behind 1,593 socks, none of which matched any of the others. He stipulated in his will that he should be buried with 50 pairs of Marks and Spencer 100% Finest Cotton, so that his feet would be well clad and served in the afterlife. The socks mysteriously self-combusted just after they put them in the coffin.
Plagues and epidemics have taken a heavy toll of lives over the years, the Black Death alone wiped out near half the population of Europe in the 14th Century.
Earthquakes have levelled cities and their inhabitants: In 115 AD and 526 AD in Antioch earthquakes devastated the ancient city and killed around 250,000 people each time. A massive quake in 1158 AD struck Syria, the cities of Shaizar, Apamea, Hama and Homs destroyed with only a handful of survivors left skulking in the rubble. In 1356 Basel was totally destroyed, as were castles, villages and other buildings for nearly 30 miles around the city.
Volcanic eruptions have also caused much loss, wiping out the Roman towns of Pompeii and Herculaneum in 79AD. Around 535 the gigantic eruption of Mt.Tuba, near Java, split the island asunder. The explosion was heard 1000 miles away in China and volcanic detritus was thrown in the air for many miles around. The eruption changed weather patterns across the planet, plague and famine followed causing devastation all over the globe. In Western Europe the remnants of Roman civilisation collapsed, paving the way for the rise of 'barbarian' kingdoms. In the Byzantine Empire, the historian John of Ephesus wrote, "There was a sign from the Sun, the like of which had never been seen or reported before. The Sun became dark and its darkness lasted for 18 months. Each day it shone for about four hours, and still this light was only a feeble shadow."
Malign beings also have tormented and assaulted humanity throughout its evolution: The Sidhe, Firbolgs, Fomorians, Tylwyth Teg, Ellylldan, Bendith Y Mamau, Fachan, Spriggans, Nuckelavee, Each Uisge, Glaistig, Svartalfr, Jotuns, Draugs, Utukku, Pazuzu, Nagas, Oni, Ushabtiu, Azathoth, Cthulhu, Shub-Niggurath, Tsathoggua and Yog-Sothoth and to this day gangs of drug-crazed Wombles still rampage through Southern England, beating up Car Insurance Salesmen with polo mallets and forcing them to wear hideous crochet bobble hats.
But far worse than any of these disasters or beings is the malevolent creature that has assailed humanity for decades without respite. An evil, crafty Wight that thrives on disorder: Nh'ar Sti Bhu Gher - The Eater of Socks.
This foul demon has been the bane of humanity with its evil ways. The Eater creeps stealthily into homes all over the globe and devours its victims, leaving only a single sock to lament the loss of its brethren in solitary terror. The Eater has claimed countless victims in its long reign with the aid of its enslaved washing machine minions.
The worst recorded incident was Mr Alfred Tucker of Arnos Grove who, after 57 years of torment, took his own life in 1962 leaving behind 1,593 socks, none of which matched any of the others. He stipulated in his will that he should be buried with 50 pairs of Marks and Spencer 100% Finest Cotton, so that his feet would be well clad and served in the afterlife. The socks mysteriously self-combusted just after they put them in the coffin.
VIEW 24 of 24 COMMENTS
Have you broken that bloody computer again?
i'm in the latin club too...