🥸Hey all. I really need help I am getting to that frustrated and overwhelmed feeling. Where giving up seems near.
(I have to keep stopping and resetting my brain to calm mode)
I have an iPhone. My laptop is ancient and slow and honestly I am ancient and slow.
( just experimenting in posting or using reels/ Snapchat/ videos in iMovie is challenging for me)
I don’t understand how to work a video and all the YouTube tutorials are crazy!
(finding time to sit and focus for 30min is a stretch)
I also need to invest in a tripod or stand.
( I’m embarrassed to even ask where to look)
So posting anything is all an experiment. You can check my most recent attempts on #instagram @madison.suicide...that is my favorite social media format being my attention span is nil.
( again I have to keep stopping, retrying, resetting my brain to calm mode, deleting and breathing)
I have to study to keep up which makes catching up on posts more difficult.
(plus I don’t know if you’ve noticed my thoughts are even back and forth and patchy)
I want to participate like everyone else and be active again as I go into my 40’s to show you can still be a rad, sexy, awesome, amazing, smart, beautiful, and alive.
( which in my brain state is seeming to be unrealistic)
So I need my brain, my thoughts, my energy, my fingers, and my followers to be patient and understand that doing this alone with the little time I have is going to be a journey!
but I welcome you to join in, and watch me take this journey!🦄
To Be Real though...
My posts are few though. I work a 50hour week where looking at my phone is not always a privilege I get. And I definitely do not have the WiFi privilege to use certain websites while on the clock!)
I also may need another human to say,
-go here
-then here
-do this
-click this
I also may need a human to reassure me that all will be well and not to give up.
I juggle so much just to survive as an active working human that works under stress and anxiety. Since I have emotion and attention issues.
I work out often using weights, yoga, and cardio so I can stay fit, strong, and beautiful in my eyes. Since I have body issues. Plus yoga helps me mentally and honestly just working out helps mentally.
And keep a clean, healthy environment in between. Since I have OCD standards. There is a place for everything and everything is it’s place looking just so!
So overwhelmed in general is my state of mind!
So bare with me! Offer advice! Or point and laugh!
🌺
