If I hear the Jackson 5 singing that fucking Christmas song one more time..
1. My bitter nostalgia.
2. Friends, Californians, and Countrypeople, lend me your eyes:
3. Helpful tips.
1. The other day I found out that one of my favorite childhood movies is out of print: The Chipmunk Adventure. Not only has it disappeared from all store shelves, but it looks as though it will never be released again. EVER. This makes me very, very sad.
2. I have come to defrost you. California doesn't need winter -- nay, we don't need it at all! Are you tired of chipping ice off your car windows, the pipes freezing over, and threats of 'snow' in your valley? Well, there is only one solution, frozen citizens, and that is to join my campaign: VOTE GLOBAL WARMING 2005!
3. Some things to remember when leaving a tip:
- Finding $2 of change in your purse to leave your server is not kind or funny.
- If you are a server, it is never okay to leave less than 10% -- especially if it is for a co-worker, you bastard.
- Just because the bill is only $10.75 it doesn't mean we work any less for your demanding ass.
- Handing your server a $100 or Platinum card and leaving nothing is fucking ridiculous.
- If you are at least sixteen, you're old enough to understand and respect the concept of tipping.
- Old age is not an excuse for being cheap -- this is not The Great Depression.
1. My bitter nostalgia.
2. Friends, Californians, and Countrypeople, lend me your eyes:
3. Helpful tips.

1. The other day I found out that one of my favorite childhood movies is out of print: The Chipmunk Adventure. Not only has it disappeared from all store shelves, but it looks as though it will never be released again. EVER. This makes me very, very sad.
2. I have come to defrost you. California doesn't need winter -- nay, we don't need it at all! Are you tired of chipping ice off your car windows, the pipes freezing over, and threats of 'snow' in your valley? Well, there is only one solution, frozen citizens, and that is to join my campaign: VOTE GLOBAL WARMING 2005!
3. Some things to remember when leaving a tip:
- Finding $2 of change in your purse to leave your server is not kind or funny.
- If you are a server, it is never okay to leave less than 10% -- especially if it is for a co-worker, you bastard.
- Just because the bill is only $10.75 it doesn't mean we work any less for your demanding ass.
- Handing your server a $100 or Platinum card and leaving nothing is fucking ridiculous.
- If you are at least sixteen, you're old enough to understand and respect the concept of tipping.
- Old age is not an excuse for being cheap -- this is not The Great Depression.
VIEW 18 of 18 COMMENTS
twwly:
Yup, I'm having more work done on my chest by ymonster.


pillasco:
