madi

Again board.

Today was great, the greatest, the greater greatest to ever be great! I cannot hesitate in tell you all about it.
Well first off, my family is poor and we eat allot cabbage stew with my elderly aunts and uncles. Today my Uncle Joe sent me down to the corner store to buy him some chew when out of nowhere there was this dollar bill deep in a sewer grate. I reached through the bars (because Im skinny n shit) and plucked Washingtons portrait from the filthy stain he was trapped in. Licking the bill clean I ran to buy me a candy bar. Upon opening it, I found inside a golden ticket. I ran around town and people danced with me wherever I went. I made up a song on the spot and everyone seemed to know the words as they all sang along. It was awesome. Anyway, thats when three thick bodied Latinas, with round asses and button noses came running up to me. There were screaming Papi papi! and lusting after my sexiness as they began to strip naked and pleasure themselves for my amusement while I ate my candy. After the candy was done I told the hoes to back off. They told me that I was a god and that they were my new zealots, and that they wanted to start a fan club for my milkshake I asked them what that meant, and they told me that my milkshake brings all the girls to the yard. I was shocked since I am lactose intolerant, but heycant fight Latina logic. After debating the quality of my milkshake I left to go to a factory where they make all sorts of weird candy. There was a fat kid, a bitchy kid, a TV watching kid, and some rich 10-year-old slut who always wanted more I asked her more what? her retort- Cock! So after giving the kid some cock, she said she still wanted more. So, all these orange midgets and me fucked her to death while the TV kid filmed it. After we were done the odd colored dwarves sang a rendition of some weird song that went something like Oompa oompa ompadee dooheres more cock you slut, or somethingI dont really remember because by that time I was laughing at the fat kid flailing in a ocean of chocolate. The fat fuck tried to drink it with his hands and then slipped due to the fact that his tits were so top heavy that he toppled head first into the poop colored lake. He got sucked up a tube but he was long dead before that. He drowned on chocolate before the tube even began to suck. So after we all had a good chuckle the fracken midgets starting singing again. Some thing about his parents made him fat and that they should be ganged raped in prison for allowing him to eat so much. Next I saw this big boat and a chicken got his head cut off and the stupid bitchy kid started saying she wanted gum. So I punched her teeth all out and then shoved my dick in her mouth and said, Gum these nuts. It was a good laugh had by all. Next stop, the boat docks at this room where they shoot kids with laser beams and then break them apart on an atomic level. The TV kid saw one on the discovery channel and knew what it was for. Being so board with his TV shows he put the thing in his mouth, winked and said I feel lucky punk and blew his head into a million billion tiny molecules across the room. They were sticky and tickled when they hit your face. The midgets sang a song but I ignored it since the last songs were not that good. I mean they had a good beat but I couldnt dance to them. Anyway, soon everyone was dead but me and the owner of the factory. He told me that I own it and I was like fuck you I do. I hate candy. He told me that it wasnt a candy factory, that it was a front for a psycho murder house for kids, and that the candy was just a good way to lure the victims. I thought that was fucked up and I just shook my head and said, Real smooth sicko. We both had a drink then I left. On the way home aliens attacked the Whitehouse and I stopped them by uploading a Mac virus into their mother ships Windows XP. The aliens failed, but not before Bush was sodomized and devoured by the big green gay one named Fagglebuxt. Thats when I decided to go home and see the folks. Walking in I saw that there was enough cabbage to feed a small army and boy was I famished. I ate all of it, sharing nothing with my elderly aunts and uncles. I watched them claw for it with boney hands while I sipped the spoon with a loud lusty slopping sound. One of them yelled, Ill kill you, you fucking bastard! His heart popped and his dusty head hit the table on his way to the floor. The loud bang was enough to wake the deadbut not him. After that I logged on and decided to write this when the three Latinas IMed me saying Hey good looking, what cha got cooking?. I was like, Cabbage, but its all gone now. They sent me lots of naked pictures of them fucking each other while they typed more about my milkshake. After I blew a load I sealed it in three envelopes and sent them to the three chubby bunnies and wrote on the front

The mailman brings my milkshake to your house.

I thought it was funny at the time but now I think it was a tad juvenile. Anyway, tomorrow there should be more fun because the Latinas say they have this book in their attic and when you open it a long furry dragon pops out and flies them around on his back. I guess they need my help fighting this powerful force that is destroying the world. They say its dangerous, but I say its probably Nothing. Anyway, sounds like a good book, I hope it never ends. Just like my great days!

Who needs a LSD when life is so fucking good!
Weeeeee!