madeleine

There were numerous days in the last several months when I felt that it was all I could do just to climb out of bed in the morning, and when even a normal day's responsibilities and usual despondence became all but unbearable.

It's okay, though. I've gradually reached the realization that my life can be as beautiful as I want it to be.



You never know what you'll receive. I became a godmother on Friday to a little boy named Teyokin Edawh. His name makes me laugh, his mother's pride makes me smile, and I'm left wondering at the way circumstances change.

Last Thursday my best friend and I celebrated her 26th birthday; I serenaded her with (poorly played) tunes on my ukulele and presented her with a unicorn pinata which she promptly named Baby Leonard Reynolds. (Yes, it's a long story). I laughed more than I have in months, until my face hurt and my eyes were watering.

Choosing to live is fucking amazing. (Cue inspirational harp music here.) No really, it is. I'm no longer afraid to make new friends, to fall for someone, to change whatever I choose to in my life. I can - and will - accomplish whatever I want. If I'm alive, I can do anything.