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madeleine

I wander.

SG Since 2006

Followers 4069 Following 2925

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Wednesday Aug 30, 2006

Aug 30, 2006
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Some days I can't believe luck. In quick succession, I have learned: that a good friend had a serious emotional breakdown and I wasn't there to help her, that I can't afford to go to school until fall 2007, because I can't get financial aid this year; and that a past-due bill has gone into collections and is now twice the amount it was originally.

That aside, I enjoyed the last week I spent in Boston and Seattle. I was really happy to meet several lovely SGs at the Suicide Saturday event in Providence, shoot a multi with Granny (photographed by tmronin, who is fucking astounding!) and explore Boston and Northampton. Attending the Body Worlds 2 exhibit with meros1 was also one of my favorite experiences. Not to sound like a total nerd, but I was blown away by the internal structure of the human body. And it was an overwhelming feeling, looking at the exposed muscles and tendons of people who had once lived as I did, and realizing that our physical bodies are merely chunks of meat. There's a lot more I felt in addition to that, but I'm using my buddy's laptop and don't have the time to write it all down here.

I didn't take many pictures during my trip, unfortunately, but perhaps that will be remedied the next time I'm in the area. So that's about it. Honestly, I'm feeling a bit overwhelmed right now. I'm frustrated with myself, with the fact that the things I envision and feel seem so completely mediocre and boring and repetitive when they come out of my mouth, that I can't seem to communicate well with the people who matter most to me, and that I end up caring so much about people at all.

And all things considered, I have no real idea what will happen in the next few months. I'm getting really tired of things not working out. It's exhausting.

On a more positive note, everybody should listen to Overkill's "I Hear Black," at least once.

UPDATE:
So I wrote the above post in a fit of misery and fairly substantial physical weariness. things will not be all that bad. I'll move as i planned, and a friend is selling his van and I'm buying! Moving will be significantly easier. This roomy vehicle has a lot of new engine work, as well as a great sound system. So if I do happen to break down somewhere, at least I'll be listening to decent music!

Oh, and not that you can really see what's being consumed, but that's me eating madeleines in Seattle.

VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
joesph90:
Welcome to the bad luck club....come to think of we should start a group!
Van sounds cool though....... kiss
Aug 31, 2006
jonnytrrrash7:
yeah, bad luck tends to be a little.....well maybe alot streaky, but your bad spell won't last long, i think.

don't worry, Fall 2007 will be here soon enough.

and you don't know how much i wished i had gone to the Suicide Saturday!
Aug 31, 2006

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