So, I've been struggling recently to find balance.
One part of me wants to be a gym rat. Workout twice a day, lift, force color on my pale white self so that I look more cut, the whole gamet.
The other part of me wants to be involved with music. Produce, spin, distribute, even pick up some instruments entirely outside my realm. Like give guitar another go, or clarinet.
Unforutnately, I can't seem to make them coexist. The former has me occupied with the formalities of explicit intake, be it vitamins, stimulants, protein, water, you name it. The latter seems to involve me ingesting a much different set of consumables, many of which I enjoy, but don't want a grip on me.
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
Maybe I'm just feeling old. Naw, that's a copout. I'm more unfulfilled than old. This girl I know turned 24 the other day. Low key event. Hung out by the pool. Had a few friends over. Whatevers right for her, right? Wrong. It disappoints me that the people I know arent throwing down the way I did at 24. Maybe theyre smarter for it.
They dont seem to have that desire to forget. Last year, well, for about 9 months up until this point last year, I spent a lot of my time with a roommate who was addicted to meth. I really liked her. Lots of charisma on that one. Didnt matter. She lied to me. Lied about me. Caused some my friends to not want to hang out with me if she was going to be around. I stuck with her for longer than most people do. She struck a chord I think shes not the first girl like that Ive thrown time and money away trying to help, against my better judgment.
I could see it in their hearts. Robin last year. Jen a few years before that. They needed to forget. Thats how I describe it. Forgetting. So far, the two things that help me to forget everything else are the gym and music. I just need to find a nice balance.
One part of me wants to be a gym rat. Workout twice a day, lift, force color on my pale white self so that I look more cut, the whole gamet.
The other part of me wants to be involved with music. Produce, spin, distribute, even pick up some instruments entirely outside my realm. Like give guitar another go, or clarinet.
Unforutnately, I can't seem to make them coexist. The former has me occupied with the formalities of explicit intake, be it vitamins, stimulants, protein, water, you name it. The latter seems to involve me ingesting a much different set of consumables, many of which I enjoy, but don't want a grip on me.
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right,
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you.
Maybe I'm just feeling old. Naw, that's a copout. I'm more unfulfilled than old. This girl I know turned 24 the other day. Low key event. Hung out by the pool. Had a few friends over. Whatevers right for her, right? Wrong. It disappoints me that the people I know arent throwing down the way I did at 24. Maybe theyre smarter for it.
They dont seem to have that desire to forget. Last year, well, for about 9 months up until this point last year, I spent a lot of my time with a roommate who was addicted to meth. I really liked her. Lots of charisma on that one. Didnt matter. She lied to me. Lied about me. Caused some my friends to not want to hang out with me if she was going to be around. I stuck with her for longer than most people do. She struck a chord I think shes not the first girl like that Ive thrown time and money away trying to help, against my better judgment.
I could see it in their hearts. Robin last year. Jen a few years before that. They needed to forget. Thats how I describe it. Forgetting. So far, the two things that help me to forget everything else are the gym and music. I just need to find a nice balance.
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i don't like to forget. i just like to dip into a place where time stands still once in awhile. i get it through a good karate music, or through reading (which is my equivalent to what i suspect music production does for you). if i'm not on drugs, i can go to these places, dip deep, fall, and come back, with only my mind altered, and my physicality still in an excellent place.
living in passion is a beautiful thing. i admire your efforts to find the balance.