Xmas has come and gone, which should make me happier than I am today. My reasons are as follows (in no particular order of significance),
1. Most of the holiday music is more overplayed and annoying than pop music on the radio.
2. I'm in a constant battle to minimize my possessions, thus a consumer holiday doesn't really bode well.
3. My mother passed away 6 years ago. I think I've come to terms with it pretty well. I can talk about it if the situation dictates. However, there are a couple of things about this that become more difficult around holiday time.
She was the only close family member I had, and the only faimily tie to where I grew up. Thus, there is no "going home" unless I want to return to visit acquaintences in a place I'm not overly fond of. Besides, around holiday time, they are usually with their respective families anyhow, none of which are close enough to be my extended family.
I do my best to brush off my not returning to MI by saying "I no longer have family there," when I don't feel like explaining that my mother is no longer around. Most people, especially my age, have not lost a member of their immediate family, let alone the closest member of said family, so they cannot relate.
It's not as though my dad can make up the difference, because other than in vocal cadence and some external features, "like father like son" is about as far from the truth as it gets. I talk to him maybe every other month, and went a period of two years without uttering a word.
So, this is basically one of the five most difficult days of the year. Every year. I'm glad it's passed, but with focus shifting on the new year, I realize that I havent come satisfactorily close to the lofty goals I have set out.
1. Most of the holiday music is more overplayed and annoying than pop music on the radio.
2. I'm in a constant battle to minimize my possessions, thus a consumer holiday doesn't really bode well.
3. My mother passed away 6 years ago. I think I've come to terms with it pretty well. I can talk about it if the situation dictates. However, there are a couple of things about this that become more difficult around holiday time.
She was the only close family member I had, and the only faimily tie to where I grew up. Thus, there is no "going home" unless I want to return to visit acquaintences in a place I'm not overly fond of. Besides, around holiday time, they are usually with their respective families anyhow, none of which are close enough to be my extended family.
I do my best to brush off my not returning to MI by saying "I no longer have family there," when I don't feel like explaining that my mother is no longer around. Most people, especially my age, have not lost a member of their immediate family, let alone the closest member of said family, so they cannot relate.
It's not as though my dad can make up the difference, because other than in vocal cadence and some external features, "like father like son" is about as far from the truth as it gets. I talk to him maybe every other month, and went a period of two years without uttering a word.
So, this is basically one of the five most difficult days of the year. Every year. I'm glad it's passed, but with focus shifting on the new year, I realize that I havent come satisfactorily close to the lofty goals I have set out.
rubyred:
you can come to my new years party 