So like I come to realize how fucked up life can be. Those I love or loved fade to black away from me in either a disappearance where they forget about me and toss me aside like a child with an old toy or hurt me like a sadistic youth tearing the wings off a butterfly.... My name is Rick... and Im having a bad week....
Ive searched to find that special someone, someone to hold, someone to care for, someone to be with and no... they dont exist. When I think I am close enough to even attain such desired heights, Im crushed down by those that I think have my heart, and like an old worker, I pick up whats left of my energy and try to move on.... working for a goal I will never see.
Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
I laid awake last night as my head pounded in pain of a migraine, I stared at the ceiling wondering why the space next to me was empty. I lit up a cigarette and let my mind drift to memories past. Yes some were nice yet most painful. I remembered all the sweet loving things that some of these fallen angels did to me. Little soft kisses on my temple to comfort me in my time of stress. Wrapping themselves in my arms when I needed to hold them. Going out to the boonies in my truck and counting stars together as we held hands... only to later deceive me, knock me down, bring me pain and in some cases, wish me to fall in ambush for physical pain... like a feline turning around and clawing at the hand that loves them...
Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filing me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone
Women... the bane of my existence,the core of disease and mental anguish of my life. With them, we feel pain yet without them we feel alone and sorrow... god has one hell of a sense of humor...
No one but me can save myself, but it to late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Is there freedom to thier hold on us.
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye
The ones we yearn for, the ones we fantasize about living the rest of our days with. They dont really exist do they? I feel closer to people on movie screens. People that are an empty shell, mannequin that has no animation, that arnt tangible. Who is there for me? The birds that sing to me at night. The rain and the sun... The changing seasons are true. Solitude is a hard one ally, faithful and true.
Like I said... Im having a bad fucking week. Just need to put it somewhere and not trying to get attention.
P.S. Fuck you Im not Emo
Ive searched to find that special someone, someone to hold, someone to care for, someone to be with and no... they dont exist. When I think I am close enough to even attain such desired heights, Im crushed down by those that I think have my heart, and like an old worker, I pick up whats left of my energy and try to move on.... working for a goal I will never see.
Life it seems, will fade away
Drifting further every day
Getting lost within myself
Nothing matters no one else
I have lost the will to live
Simply nothing more to give
There is nothing more for me
Need the end to set me free
I laid awake last night as my head pounded in pain of a migraine, I stared at the ceiling wondering why the space next to me was empty. I lit up a cigarette and let my mind drift to memories past. Yes some were nice yet most painful. I remembered all the sweet loving things that some of these fallen angels did to me. Little soft kisses on my temple to comfort me in my time of stress. Wrapping themselves in my arms when I needed to hold them. Going out to the boonies in my truck and counting stars together as we held hands... only to later deceive me, knock me down, bring me pain and in some cases, wish me to fall in ambush for physical pain... like a feline turning around and clawing at the hand that loves them...
Things are not what they used to be
Missing one inside of me
Deathly lost, this can't be real
Cannot stand this hell I feel
Emptiness is filing me
To the point of agony
Growing darkness taking dawn
I was me, but now He's gone
Women... the bane of my existence,the core of disease and mental anguish of my life. With them, we feel pain yet without them we feel alone and sorrow... god has one hell of a sense of humor...
No one but me can save myself, but it to late
Now I can't think, think why I should even try
Is there freedom to thier hold on us.
Yesterday seems as though it never existed
Death Greets me warm, now I will just say good-bye
The ones we yearn for, the ones we fantasize about living the rest of our days with. They dont really exist do they? I feel closer to people on movie screens. People that are an empty shell, mannequin that has no animation, that arnt tangible. Who is there for me? The birds that sing to me at night. The rain and the sun... The changing seasons are true. Solitude is a hard one ally, faithful and true.
Like I said... Im having a bad fucking week. Just need to put it somewhere and not trying to get attention.
P.S. Fuck you Im not Emo
*hugs*