i feel like my whole world is falling apart.
i can actually say for once in my life, everything is absolute shit.
seriously, there isnt one good thing going on. im on edge every second of every fucking day and i only need to be slightly pushed and im in tears. im snapping at my parents all the time and as IF they need that from me, but i cant stop, im just so angry.
in the words of bilbo baggins "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter spread over too much bread."
im so exhausted and feel like im not actually here anymore
things that im feeling:
- angry
- dissapointed
- worthless
- broken
- lost
- blank
- unwanted
- burden
- bitch
- confused
- worried
- anxious
- insane
- hopeless
- alone
- no friends
- aching
- selfish
so many fucking more that i feel and that i think i am.i swear its not normal to feel all of thiiss AAAGHHHHGHGHGHIDFOUJHSOJF. how do i keep going when i see nothing worth living for?
this dude has been on me all day aswell, tellling me i cant sing or play guitar and that im like "every other cocksucking talentless bitch" which i thought was nice.... ...
eugh i need a break. i need some time to just breathe.
but then again, thats me being selfish as hell, i hate that about me. when i think about what my dad feels and my mum. and all im thinking is that i cant frickin cope!
selfish selfish. and im even thinking about not doing another set because i feel like a dirty slut even though i think no SG is a slut at all, just me, and i think about if my dad knew
im so ashamed of myself for becoming what i am now.
what the hell am i on about, i dont even no who i am but i know that it makes me feel ill
you know what, im gona shut up now.
:[ sorry had to let out my mind for a sec lol x
i can actually say for once in my life, everything is absolute shit.
seriously, there isnt one good thing going on. im on edge every second of every fucking day and i only need to be slightly pushed and im in tears. im snapping at my parents all the time and as IF they need that from me, but i cant stop, im just so angry.
in the words of bilbo baggins "I feel thin, sort of stretched, like butter spread over too much bread."
im so exhausted and feel like im not actually here anymore
things that im feeling:
- angry
- dissapointed
- worthless
- broken
- lost
- blank
- unwanted
- burden
- bitch
- confused
- worried
- anxious
- insane
- hopeless
- alone
- no friends
- aching
- selfish
so many fucking more that i feel and that i think i am.i swear its not normal to feel all of thiiss AAAGHHHHGHGHGHIDFOUJHSOJF. how do i keep going when i see nothing worth living for?
this dude has been on me all day aswell, tellling me i cant sing or play guitar and that im like "every other cocksucking talentless bitch" which i thought was nice.... ...
eugh i need a break. i need some time to just breathe.
but then again, thats me being selfish as hell, i hate that about me. when i think about what my dad feels and my mum. and all im thinking is that i cant frickin cope!
selfish selfish. and im even thinking about not doing another set because i feel like a dirty slut even though i think no SG is a slut at all, just me, and i think about if my dad knew
im so ashamed of myself for becoming what i am now.
what the hell am i on about, i dont even no who i am but i know that it makes me feel ill
you know what, im gona shut up now.
:[ sorry had to let out my mind for a sec lol x
VIEW 14 of 14 COMMENTS
I'm going through a bit myself because I've been single for so along that I feel more alone than ever, I see my "friends" once every 4 or 5 months between working every day and pounding myself (heart, soul, and mind) into the ground deeper and deeper with each breath I take in this life. I won't drone on about me (I do enough of that in my blogs and just had my ranting the past week through it).
The real point is... we do all go through our own similar pains and problems. No one is immune.
Behind it, though, you do have friends who do care (just look at some of the comments for a quick example).
You've got some amazing emotions and brainpower... and soul(!) behind all those current thoughts of yours.
You've got an amazing smile that cheers me right up when I take a quick peek at your sets to get a little cheer for myself.
If you're anything similar to me, you probably won't easily grab up the words I (or others) may say and go on about things as you are now, but it's important to at least listen (or technically read) these words.
While human and sometimes having shitty advice or saying things that are easier said than done, we're all still human and we all go through the same garbage, too.
Just breathe, take a look at some of the good things that have been and could come to be. Awesome sets, cool friends, neat toys... whatever. Sometimes it's those things that help ground us when we remember those times. It ain't easy and I know it because I'm trying desperately to grab onto something at this very moment myself, but coming from someone who feels pretty damn low I can tell you that you do have some good things going and need to keep that all in mind.
It'd be a shame to lose that heart, mind, and soul to something as irritating as these emotions.
Plus, we'd be losing out on that smile. That's as bad as being a cloudy day 24/7 and never getting to see the sunshine. I don't know about you, but I do like to have that sunshine to remind me of the good things in life and you could be that sunshine (not just to me).
I hope things get better for you soon.