madam_lash

i know you read this...

you were never a burdon on me. you have helped me though alot and i will always treasure the years we have had together. i hope you are doing ok. youre a strong person and i know you will be ok.

i will always love you... you will forever be my bestfriend... im thinking of you everyday... xx

end rant...

last blog was rant aimed towards noone here... just needed to vent...

sorry dudes

youve got to be fucking kidding me!??! how hard is it to leave me the fuck alone!?!?!?!

so now i have no fucking privacy, no place to fucking say what i want, what im thinking... fuck this!

things are ok... im starting something new with the nicest guy ive ever met. ive never felt the way i do when im with him. he does so much for me - which is strange and something i have to get used to. im so used to doing everything for someone else... its and odd feeling when people look after you. i feel happier and...
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it would appear, that once again... my life is in ruins. thanks to me... again.

we've broken up....

im so drunk....

im in love again... and im happy... and content...

I hurt myself today
to see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
the only thing that's real
the needle tears a hole
the old familiar sting
try to kill it all away
but I remember everything
what have I become?
my sweetest friend
everyone I know
goes away in the end
and you could have it all
my empire of dirt

I...
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ill be ok...

im in a really fucked up place right now... i dont know what i want or what i want to do... i think... see, no i dont.

i just dont.

im.... in... lust?

...im even more confused than when i began... i know what i want though... just a matter of aquirring it...







i think i should stop drinking... things are very blurry - even with the glasses on...