machinefuck

Don't mean to rant, but here's what's on my mind:

+Job interview went really well. I'm happy about it but then I'm not. I thought the universe had a plan for me. Why lose one job in the same area only to get another. I thought this was an opportunity to move but perhaps not. I don't belong down here...at least as far as I know.

+This haircut has fucked me up. Am I obsessive? Probably. But I used to be the fat kid, and getting back to that point...the thought mortifies me. For some reason, having no hair makes me think I have a small head and I think I look bigger now. Then THAT leads to me thinking I'm no longer sexy, attractive, blah, blah, blah. Where is my head?

+Any/Every time I hear my mom sigh from the disappointment of being broke, it breaks my heart. I want to "make it" in music partially so she won't have to worry ever again, but is my stuff good enough? I have a bad habit of elevating everyone to my level in my mind and thinking, "Anyone is like this/Anyone can do this. I'm nothing special."

+The one person I want to spend Valentine's Day with (Nerdyy <3) is hundreds of miles away.


Life is good and I am very fortunate but these are things I just haven't shaken off as of late.
I cherish each and everyone of you.
J