macbastard

I have the absoulte worst luck with women. It probably has to do with something within myself. However I choose to turn a blind eye to any discrepency I may have and blame the universe for being out to get me.

You see the universe does not want me to date, make out, raise a faimly, have the sex or any combination of the above. Why? I don't know Im not sure. Mabye I screwed up an awsome planatary alighment when I was born. Or fucked up the earths rotation once when I fell down as a kid. The piont is is that the blackness of space aint digging my sexual chilly. Now I know you people are going to be SHOCKED by this but: it even fucks with my mastabatory habits. (Oh the pun. I am a witmaster)

EVERY time I buy porn, No matter how long I look. How much I carefully scan the back covers or paruse the "top 25" section. I come away (PUN!) with somthing just stupid and pretty unhelpful to my ding-dong love time.

My most recent purchese was an adult video by the name "Kumikazie" (PUN!) It really seems so simple but I missed it entirely. See its entirely made up of Aisian girls. Well DUH! Yeah...But I totally didn't get that from the title. I like aisian girls fine. But I didn't really want 4 hours of them.

Another purchese was a gem called "Cum dumpsters." Im not entirely sure what wounderful tastful love scens I expected with a title like that, but the entire 2 hour viedo was cut into 1 minute clips of money shots. And pretty gooey/gross ones at that. Now I don't know about you folks, But I sort of like my porn scene to have a begginig middle and an end. It gives me some time to date myself and get to know myself better before I go all the way.

Thanks universe. I hope you choke and die.

Macpornfailure