m_bethany

"love I get so lost, sometimes
days pass and this emptiness fills my heart
when I want to run away
I drive off in my car
but whichever way I go
I come back to the place you are

"all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

"in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light
the heat I see in your eyes

"love, I don't like to see so much pain
so much wasted and this moment keeps slipping away
I get so tired of working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you to keep me awake and alive

"and all my instincts, they return
and the grand facade, so soon will burn
without a noise, without my pride
I reach out from the inside

"in your eyes
the light the heat
in your eyes
I am complete
in your eyes
I see the doorway to a thousand churches
in your eyes
the resolution of all the fruitless searches
in your eyes
I see the light and the heat
in your eyes
oh, I want to be that complete
I want to touch the light,
the heat I see in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes
in your eyes in your eyes"

last night my prince ordered us dinner from Louise's and watched th OC together. we cuddled on the couch, we snuggled, talked, he teased me alittle and I just enjoyed being with him. we bearly kissed, not even a little tongue action, all night. just relaxed. we also watched part of Lara Croft: Tomb Raider - the Cradle of Life which he had not seen since the premiere. he was filling me in on all the details from the dailies. I could not have been happier. the second he is in my presence my heart races and a smile goes on my face. his smell, his hair, his touch. during the show I realized we had begun holding hands without my notice. :le sigh: I need to keep this, it has never felt this real before... maybe because I am not in a fog anymore.... I just do not want the good things to stop.

my prince is interviewing some of the kids on the show soon so... I was forced. But the hot scenes between the lesbians is awesome... and the kissing in the rain was so a play on spiderman. I cannot believe I watched that crap.

I also realized today while watching What Women Want (come on, it's Mel) that his house has a new york/east coast feel to it - that is why it is unfamiliar but comfortable. I love it.

Speaking of houses, I am also moving out. more than likely next week. the friendship is suffering and I need something separate from the ex. my roomies are too close to him to live with them any longer.. and we are going different paths as people now. besides, my new occupations require more of a roommate situation than friendship. my ex-wife offered a place if I did not find one soon - but now that I am working, it should be fine.

I am off to nap before my shoot, perhaps I add to this another time.

food coma. just cleaned the whole fucking house - except the kitchen cuz I cleaned that three days ago and the dishes are piled again - I have not been here. I cannot convey how this OCD is advancing, I only slept 4 hours last night - watching movies all night. romantic comedies. I know. I cannot stop it.

yeah, shut up.