JOURNAL:
I am getting into alienation mode with my stepfather. He is just accepting that I do not enjoy being home. I don't. I just don't. The house needs some serious work that I cannot afford (steam clean it up!! damn!!), I buy all the groceries, do all the cleaning, and I know I KNOW that I am living here for free but damn! He is sick and has been the last few days... he is so procrastinating on work and I feel like he feels that it is my responsibility to take the "wife" supportive role. I know we have been each other's family somewhat, but he made sure every step of the way I knew how lucky I was to have him...
so the plot thickens. I am realizing that he is a great weekend parent,... but the control he wants to have and the challenge he is as a person, his stubborn ways, they make me cringe.
and so. I have to get out... what have I been doing you ask me?
Whatever do you mean?
since the computer went down bad the other day... I had to take it to get fixed. My ex did that. We got to spend time together. I am realizing I did love him because, as unattractive as he is at the moment.. I look at him and see all the reasons why I love him. But we cannot go back, we cant. But he broke up with his girl on friday. Told her to get out. Would love to see him stick to it....
But we spent many long nights repairing this bitch... and I upgraded my tower to Windows XP... maybe I get my computer up so my stepfather cannot spy on me anymore.... I hate that.
hung out with my brit buddy a few times as well... he is a riot. we chat, he hits on me, I call him out, we smoke another bowl. I would be insulted about his many attempts but he is so smooth, I see why he does well... I respect it. And he likes me weaseling out of it. not going to play that game with him anymore... especially after the batch I got - my buddy pal guy hooked up the Hubble county stuff. Wow.
going to see my mommy today. and my bro. beginning to work at my old restaurant again on tuesday and wednesday... looking for a place on the west side. I am budgeting about $550-600 a month for a room someplace... and I will fill the house with groceries and cook... here goes.
ROOM WANTED FOR SINGLE COLLEGE STUDENT/WAITRESS
Has to be $550-600 a month, maybe $650 at most
Will trade cleaning / cooking skills for the additional if necessary.
College student (SMCC in the Spring again)
Waitress/ Intern for Producing
if you know anyone... please let me know. ASAP. I cannot live here anymore...
know what I mean? I am looking N. Hollywood, Van Nuys, the Valley, Silverlake, Echo Park... you know, anywhere I will not get raped or shot. I like living.
contact me. Seriously. I want to leave NOW!!! Dec 1st or January 1st.
thanks all!
~ the angel*
I am getting into alienation mode with my stepfather. He is just accepting that I do not enjoy being home. I don't. I just don't. The house needs some serious work that I cannot afford (steam clean it up!! damn!!), I buy all the groceries, do all the cleaning, and I know I KNOW that I am living here for free but damn! He is sick and has been the last few days... he is so procrastinating on work and I feel like he feels that it is my responsibility to take the "wife" supportive role. I know we have been each other's family somewhat, but he made sure every step of the way I knew how lucky I was to have him...
so the plot thickens. I am realizing that he is a great weekend parent,... but the control he wants to have and the challenge he is as a person, his stubborn ways, they make me cringe.
and so. I have to get out... what have I been doing you ask me?
Whatever do you mean?
since the computer went down bad the other day... I had to take it to get fixed. My ex did that. We got to spend time together. I am realizing I did love him because, as unattractive as he is at the moment.. I look at him and see all the reasons why I love him. But we cannot go back, we cant. But he broke up with his girl on friday. Told her to get out. Would love to see him stick to it....
But we spent many long nights repairing this bitch... and I upgraded my tower to Windows XP... maybe I get my computer up so my stepfather cannot spy on me anymore.... I hate that.
hung out with my brit buddy a few times as well... he is a riot. we chat, he hits on me, I call him out, we smoke another bowl. I would be insulted about his many attempts but he is so smooth, I see why he does well... I respect it. And he likes me weaseling out of it. not going to play that game with him anymore... especially after the batch I got - my buddy pal guy hooked up the Hubble county stuff. Wow.
going to see my mommy today. and my bro. beginning to work at my old restaurant again on tuesday and wednesday... looking for a place on the west side. I am budgeting about $550-600 a month for a room someplace... and I will fill the house with groceries and cook... here goes.
ROOM WANTED FOR SINGLE COLLEGE STUDENT/WAITRESS
Has to be $550-600 a month, maybe $650 at most
Will trade cleaning / cooking skills for the additional if necessary.
College student (SMCC in the Spring again)
Waitress/ Intern for Producing
if you know anyone... please let me know. ASAP. I cannot live here anymore...
know what I mean? I am looking N. Hollywood, Van Nuys, the Valley, Silverlake, Echo Park... you know, anywhere I will not get raped or shot. I like living.
contact me. Seriously. I want to leave NOW!!! Dec 1st or January 1st.
thanks all!
~ the angel*
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
dade37:
damn gurk im sorry i hope things get better for you
chickwithwings:
omigod omigod omigod you and me should so get an apartment together if i dont go back to school wewould be excellent flatmates. How's life treating you my pretty? 